On June 29, I was playing basketball with my kids, when I blacked out. I fell backwards, banging my head on our concrete driveway, which gave me a concussion. Since my fall I have been on a journey of recovery. Psalm 91:14-16 says, "I will give you the best care, call on me and I will answer, be at you side in hard times; I will rescue and then throw you a party." And the Father gave me the best care, through Naomi and the kids, my parents, the Freshwind congregation, and from all the prayers people have prayed for me.
But the road to recovery can be hard. I am still dealing with headaches all day long. I have to be careful what I do throughout the day as well. Each day feels like I am walking, even crawling, the paths of the dead. I know that Jesus is there beside me, holding me, helping me, but I want answers. And all I seem to get is a smile from Jesus and a squeeze on my hand, which is awesome! A couple of days ago I read Psalm 143, and as I read it, I felt like this Psalm was written to me and for me. So here is Psalm 143, my version. It shares where I'm at.
Listen and hear this prayer of mine, Father God. Pay attention to what I am saying and asking. You know my thoughts before I ask them. Do what is right for me. Answer me in Your faithfulness, in Your righteousness. But don’t, please don’t, haul me into your court, for in you sight no man living is righteous.
The enemy has hunted me down; he kicked me and stomped me, within and inch of my life. He has put me on the paths of the dead. I feel despair, my spirit is draining away. My heart is heavy, I’m on my knees crawling. But I am not going to cop out as you change me Jesus. I see how You are gripping me. How You are holding me close You. You will never let go of me as I crawl along the path. I stretch out my hands to embrace You - heal my wounds. Let your light shine through them. My soul longs for You, as a crawl along the paths of the dead.
Hurry with your answers, Jesus. Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning. For I trust You. Point me in the right direction; I am all ears, all eyes before you. Teach me how to live to please you, because you are my God, my King, my Friend. Lead me by Your blessed Spirit to see the bright dawn.
Jesus be my life. In Your light, lead me out of this path. Protect me from my enemies, make a clean sweep of those who harass me. And why? Because I am Your servant.