“He was on me. Pounding my face. Threatening to kill me if I screamed. His hand across my mouth muffled my cries. I bite down, hard. His dirty hand flew from my lips and I could taste his blood on my tongue. I parted my mouth to scream fire for help but no one responds. His fist drove into my face again and again. I shut up. I feel him inside. I feel him inside. I wish I was beautiful. I want to be wanted. Why am I here? In the shadows, on my back, the tearing between my legs. I want to live. I am nothing. Why? He is standing now, and I am crying, he says something about killing me. He walks away and I cower, bleeding and ripped. Who will care, who loves me?”
“I needed the money. I went uptown to find a trick. I thought he was alone in that van. I got in the front seat and there was four more of them. I was afraid. One of them grabbed me around the throat and pulled me in the back with them. I felt their fists fall upon my face as the van pulled away from the corner. Into the black we rode as they started tearing at my jeans. One of them grabbed my dick and began to stroke it. I couldn’t get hard. He slapped me across the face. “You fucking faggot junkie,” came a voice in the shadows, “give me your dick. I want to suck it.” I couldn’t, I was afraid. They took turns fucking me. I could feel the blood falling down my thighs as they each took me. Hard cocks in my ass; don’t they know I am a person? Don’t they know I am someone? I just wanted to get some cash for a little down. They finished, each one of them. I think I was crying. They beat me some more, their scared little faggot, and tossed me out of the van. Their taillights sparkled through my tears. Alone again. I really needed my fix and I want to be dead now.”
Our world seems darker every day. It could be a false perception based solely on my own skewed perceptions of life but I doubt this. We are standing before the gates of Hell, sipping lattes, casually throwing glances towards the horror that surrounds us and unfortunately we are more concerned with ourselves. Concerned with our own individual needs, be they remodeling our bathrooms, upgrading our tech gadgets, or which doggie spa is best suited for our Pomeranians. The concerns that keep our simple narrow minds entertained in the western world are disgustingly laughable, yet we have mastered the art of justifying these frivolities.
However, as those who profess to follow a Jewish carpenter with a quick wit and a general dislike for the selfish, what is to be our view of this situation? In a world where these stories—these lives—recounted at the outset, exist among the ruins of Gods creation, we are to stand boldly armed with truth, purpose and love. In the ruins of this existence, among the debris of war, we are to proclaim Jesus. To communicate His love. To go forth and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything Jesus has commanded us to enact. All of this is summed up succinctly in these words “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself.”
We, that is all of us, are called to step forth into this darkness that surrounds us. To put on our armour, pick up our sword and march straight into the battle that rages around us. Into the lions den, into the killing fields, into hell without hesitation. When entering this world of violence we are actually entering the realm of the worship. When that door opens, we are simply not walking into a land teeming with rape, murder, drugs and general destruction. We are actually entering a world where everyone is asking what is worth living for and what is worth dying for. We are entering a land filled with people afraid, lost and cowering. It is our duty to seek out the fallen on this battlefield. To fight with holy rage to clear the way for them to stand, to be equipped, to be loved.
At some point in history, you stood up to be counted among his followers. You made a choice! Now again you must make a choice, as you must everyday as long as you exist on this planet, to follow or fuck off. The language is strong and I am slightly sorry, but if this offends so be it. We are at war: every decision, every action, every hesitation has a cost—an eternal cost.
You were called, now follow obediently; pick up your cross and march to your death. Jesus asked for you to carry a device designed to kill you, not a cappuccino to calm you. Apathy is costly, truly costly—not just for you as an individual created in the image of God, not just for Christ’s sacrifice on Calvary—but for the broken and forgotten in the world in which you dwell. They sit alone and shattered, cowering in the shadows of this life, waiting for death. Then they are packed off in crates on an express elevator to damnation because we are not devoted. These are your neighbours, your families, and your enemies. So, if your still with me, let me share the “how to” which I adhere to and which has proved exceptionally fruitful.
It is popular for all of us to try to deduce God’s will for our lives, to seek out our purpose on this planet, to find our direction. However, many choose wrongly, many choose hastily and many choose nothing. I will say it is not an easy exercise to conduct, especially without counsel or without proper biblical knowledge, but there is one piece of the Bible which gives exceptional and simple instruction for actualizing the summation of God’s will for all.
A lawyer once asked “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” The response Jesus gave to this person is more than adequate as a starting point in any faith journey.
What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” is what Jesus put forth to this man.
And he answered, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbour as yourself.”
Jesus replied “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.”
But wishing to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?”
Jesus replied and said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead. And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’
“Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbour to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?”
And he said, “The one who showed mercy toward him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.”
This piece of God’s treasury is an exceptional blueprint to assist us as we help build the kingdom. It demonstrates the fact that our place in society has little value as to how we live. The priest does nothing; a man dedicated to communicating God’s character shuffles by. A Levite, a man chosen to assist the priests of the Temple just keeps going. These men were supposed leaders of character and value and yet they did nothing. However, a piece of garbage in the eyes of God’s chosen people goes all out to help this unknown individual.
This is our role, all of us who came when Jesus called, who have said yes to His beautiful gift. To serve completely, with our own possessions, our own finances, and most importantly our own hands. Those hands are not for decoration. They were designed for work, so use them, use every single piece of your body to make this world what it was meant to be. Excuses kill: they kill me, they kill you, they kill your family, they kill the world you were born into. There is not a creation of God’s that does not have the capacity to bring the light of Christ into this world. To war you are called: go fight, die if necessary, but fight. We are soldiers. I am a soldier. On the day you stand before Christ will you be called faithful or will you be sent packing?
Ward Draper befriends and serves "the least of these" in Abbotsford, BC.
Ward, you have a powerful story. You may have more to contribute than you realize to the Kingdom of God. Our pain can help others especially when we are open to God to allow Him to use it in a way to help others progress in their walk with Jesus.
Posted by: Ann | June 16, 2020 at 10:38 AM
Dear brother Ward,
I was impressed b your comments and I do hope that you will continue to grow in the love Agape of God in all wisdom and revelation as you obey our Father. However, I do concur with Linda and her comments have a good cadence and I believe are true and faithful to the Name of the Lord.
True, much of the church is in a dire state of immaturity, yet I am greatly encouraged by the words of her bridegroom who said, "I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not . . ."
This takes the weight off me amd helps me to be in His yolk.
May the Father Himself continue to mature agape in you as you soldier on for Him.
God speed!
Posted by: Niall MacTaggart | October 04, 2007 at 10:00 PM