I climbed into bed and pulled the blankets over my head. I sure felt embarrassed at my inarticulate comments earlier that evening alongside those of the intellectual giants who’d triggered my thoughts and responses. Yes, I just wanted to hide.
Under the covers I let my imagination take me to the Jordan River. It had been a meeting place for me for a couple of weeks now. The waters were pretty deep and wide, but I felt steady on my feet next to John the Baptist with the water up to my waist. I had relived this scene a few times now. Jesus is walking along the riverbank, approaching us from the right. I follow John’s gaze as we watch Him coming closer. Almost without thinking I whisper to myself ‘behold the Lamb of God’.
Jesus steps into the water and starts to wade out to us. I’m glad I’m an invisible spectator in this imaginary play. Within seconds He has reached us and I can scarcely breathe as I look at Him standing so close now. Can all of God really be contained in the heart and body of this rather short and ordinary looking man?
Looking straight at me He says, ‘would you baptise me?’
Firstly I’m shocked that He even sees me, I thought I was just an on-looker, peeking back through time and not really present. Secondly, I’m bowled over that He would ever ask me to baptise Him.
Suddenly I understand exactly how John must have felt when asked the same question. ‘but Jesus, I’m not worthy to untie your shoe-laces let alone baptise you …’
All my shame and embarrassment of the day rushed up to my cheeks with a great heat, and inside I told Him what a foolish, silly woman I am … certainly not a human of calibre enough to baptise the God of the universe.
He never took His eyes off my face, but with firm gentleness said, ‘but You recognised Me, didn’t you? You saw beyond what many see, you saw that I am the Lamb.’
Heck Lord, is that all it takes to qualify? Just that I recognise the Lamb?
Somehow I know I can do this; I can accept His invitation to baptise the Lamb of God. I’ve been falling in love with the Lamb for a little while now.
Jesus stands in the water between me and John and I know John will help me. I plunge Him backwards into the Jordan. It feels amazing to be a part of something like this! He just surrenders Himself to my hands. Down He goes, like a tree felled. Splash! I see His face under the waters. His eyes are closed. He looks so peaceful, so full of rest. I’m astonished that He trusts me so much and that being under the waters doesn’t alarm Him. I watch Him, mesmerised.
Then it occurs to me I need to pull Him up out of the waters too. This is harder than I’d anticipated! He’s not a huge man, but I’m not so big either and I don’t have a whole lot of strength now that the water is dragging Him down. I look pleadingly at John for help, and together we manage to get Jesus on His feet again. No sooner is He standing and wiping the water off His face than I grab Him round His middle and hold Him to me. ‘You could have drowned Jesus. I’m so sorry’.
His arms grip around me with a hold that will not let me go, and in that exact moment heaven opens and a spot-light of white light targets us. I hear the Father’s voice above us, ‘this is My Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.’
He might as well have been saying ‘this woman is My daughter, whom I love, with her I am well pleased’, for Jesus has an extraordinary gift of sharing every good thing He has, even the approval of His heavenly Father.
The story of the Lamb has woven its thread through my life periodically over the last two or three years. More recently I’ve been crying out to God for help to know how to pray for healing for the sick, and He seems to be drawing my attention back to the Lamb. In fact the other day I felt He said, ‘Fi, I want you to learn the prayers of the Lamb’.
The prayers of the Lamb?
That’s a mystery. It tantalises me and I’m hooked.
I’m someone who loves to pray. It’s a big part of my life, but I really do struggle with some aspects of praying for the sick.
I think its fair to say that the majority of prayer formulas for healing which I’ve been taught could be described as fierce and strong; prayers of the Lion, if you will. I have been taught to take authority over sickness, to command it, to bind it, to rebuke it, to tell it where to go, and to pronounce healing … all in the mighty name of Jesus.
Honestly, I have no trouble with those who are able to pray these prayers comfortably. I admire them and I wish I was more like them.
But me, I sound more like a bleater than a roarer. Really I do. I have a soft little voice and I’ve tried really hard to deepen it when I’m praying for the sick, so that I sound strong and fierce, and as if I know what I’m doing! But nothing really hides the fact that I’m more of a ‘baaa’ than I am a ‘roar’.
Well, you know as well as I do that authority and the power of prayer is not just about the sound of our voices, its about the authority and power of the source within us and the One we pray to. Perhaps it would be good to consider that source, and to ask ourselves whether we’ve given as much space for Him, our Source, to be the Lamb as well as the Lion. We love Jesus, but are we willing to know Him, to really know Him? Do we know Him as both Lion and Lamb? Or have we selected which aspects of His character we want to emulate, like picking our favourite chocolates out of an assorted chocolate box. Do we choose to be shaped by all of who He is?
God has so many facets. He can be known in so many ways; there is just so much of Him to know. At different stages of church history and in different seasons of our lives He makes Himself known to us with a particular name.
Think of some of the names you’ve known Jesus by; teacher, brother, friend, counsellor, Prince of peace, shepherd…
In the last book of the Bible, the book called Revelation, Jesus is referred to as the Lamb (with a capital L) on no less than 27 occasions. Have you ever considered why God should choose to be represented by that particular animal?
Lets think about lambs for a minute. Would you just close our eyes and picture a lamb. Perhaps its in a field, or in the barn.
Of course lambs are just baby sheep. And even people who raise and love sheep say they are rather stupid animals. What kind of defences does your little lamb have? How big is it? Who is the more powerful, you or the lamb? What do lambs do, and of what use are they? You can open your eyes now …
Lambs are vulnerable and defenceless creatures. They have no protection of their own. They are prey not predators. They have no claws and only a few teeth for nibbling grass. Lambs are small, gentle and soft. Lambs frolic and they bleat and they need their mother’s milk and warmth to survive.
Lambs are delicious roasted and served with mint sauce, roast potatoes, veggies and gravy. If you’ve never tasted it and would like to, just let Scott or I know and we’d love to have you over for a lamb dinner some time.
So do you recognise anything of Jesus in the characteristics of a lamb? Shall we start with the lack of intelligence of a sheep? Well Jesus was not a stupid man, but He did live simply and innocently, and He brought a very simple message to mankind. In fact He condensed all the complexity of the law and the prophets into one simple command which was only this, ‘Love’. ‘Love the Lord your God with all that you are, and love your neighbour as yourself.’ (Matt.22:37-40) This was the sum of all that He taught and all that He was. So simple that even the children and the foreigners and the uneducated could be a part of it. No-one need ever be excluded again.
What about the humble, smallness of a lamb? Do you sense Jesus’ willingness to lay down all His greatness and to make Himself nothing? (Philippians 2:6-11) What humility! He was fully God yet He chose to become a carpenter’s son, born in a cow shed, raised in a small village a million miles from palaces and splendour. He travelled dusty roads on foot with a pack of misfits, didn’t even have a home of his own. Probably slept under the stars or wherever they could find shelter. Wrote no books, acted in no movies, and had no web-site nor election campaign.
John 13:3-5 captures this aspect of the humble heart and character of Jesus, the Lamb, so perfectly. “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God: so (he went out and raised up a mighty army to take over the whole world and to establish His rule on the earth … no, )He got up … took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel round His waist … He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped round Him.” Then He explained to His friends that they should follow His example; being servants to one another.
This Lamb is not afraid to be the servant of all, even though He knows His greatness.
Now lets think about how lambs are prey not predators.
Have you noticed how Jesus chose to be defenceless? He really was led like a lamb to the slaughter (Is. 53:7) and like a lamb before the shearer He was silent (Acts 8:32)
He allowed Himself to be prey to both the Romans and the Jews. He did not call down legions of angels to annihilate those who connived to set Him up for false trial and execution. Instead He gave up His life to them.
Like a lamb He was meek and gentle. He never tried to hurt people, He simply spoke the truth in love. He never retaliated, instead He forgave.
I think of lambs as weak creatures and I wondered in what ways Jesus was weak. Here’s what I found …
Jesus was weak enough to know that He could do nothing on His own. Guess what? … He needed His Father in heaven like a lamb needs its mother ewe. He was utterly dependent on His Father for the direction of every day of His life, and for every miracle that He performed, even for every word that He spoke … He only ever did what He saw the Father do, and He only ever said what the Father told Him to say (John 12:50).
But there’s something which I find even more astonishing about His choice to be weak … He needed friends, people like you and me, to help Him to make it through. He needed friends to pray for Him, and to feed Him, to share the journey with Him, to take care of the finances, to carry the cross when it became too heavy for Him. He needed a friend to baptise Him. He needed friends to prepare His body for burial.
He cried for His heavenly Dad when He was dying and in great pain on the cross; ‘My God, My God why have You forsaken Me?’ … ‘Dad, where are You? I need You now.’
He cried for His friends when they died, or when they got lost in their foolish ways ‘like sheep without a shepherd’.
How much of the Lamb do I emulate? How much of my character have I allowed the Lamb to shape? What about you?
Dear Jesus, Lamb of God, teach us the ways of the Lamb.
And what of the prayers of the Lamb? I found one in John 12: 27&28. I am completely captivated and a little scared, for Jesus is quite breathtaking in His willingness to submit and surrender to anything which will bring His Father glory … no matter what the cost to Him personally. I’m not sure that I want to be like Him any more!
In this passage Jesus first predicts His death. Then, as He faces the knowledge that His life is shortly to be brutally snuffed out He confesses, ‘now My heart is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour?’ no, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name!’
This passage reminds me so much of Jesus’ baptism. I see Him giving His body into the hands of men to be taken down (under the waters) into suffering and death. He describes how His heart is troubled. How He wants out. Maybe He’s afraid of the pain and betrayals and accusations He knows He’ll have to face. He would like His Father to rescue Him from this trial. But then His prayer changes and He enters into the deep rest of knowing that even this journey has purpose! And, like when I watched His face under the waters in my imaginative prayer, He takes the way of the Lamb, the way of defencelessness, the way of surrender, the way of suffering love. He chooses a different prayer … ‘Father glorify Your name.’ … You can do whatever You want with Me Father, I’m Yours, totally Yours. I trust You Father. I trust Your ways. All I ask is that You glorify Your name through all that I’ll go through.
Inexplicable peace in diabolical circumstances. Deep rest in troubling times. Absolute child-like trust in the Father’s goodness. Pause for a moment and think about that prayer of the Lamb. ‘Now My heart is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’?’
Now consider if there is anything troubling in your life for which you have been praying, maybe over a long period of time, ‘Father save me from this hour.’ It’s a perfectly valid prayer to ask for God to rescue us out of difficult places. Its only right that we cry out for God to fix us, to spare us, to heal us. But when He doesn’t seem to answer those prayers, what prayers are left to us?
Perhaps the Lamb wants to show us.
Could it be that following Jesus sometimes leads us into the grave before it finally lifts us into the resurrection; following Him in the way of suffering love in order to reach triumphant love?
And how do we ever get our hearts to that place where we can pray the prayer of the Lamb … ‘Father, glorify Your Name.’? This prayer is no longer asking for change to happen in our circumstances. It is no longer asking for stuff for us. Instead this prayers lifts our eyes off of our difficulties and onto our Father. Through this prayer we trust Him to choose the outcome of our circumstances, knowing that the end result will bring greater glory to Him. The irony of this shift in our focus is that it has led us to the prayer which, at the end of the day, brings us the greatest freedom, hope and healing!
I am reminded of that sweet little treasure of a Psalm; number 131. Lets just take a look at the first 2 verses.
V1. ‘My heart is not proud, O Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.’
I feel that some of the meaning of this verse is that the writer is acknowledging that there are some things in life that he does not and may never understand … and … that he’s willing to let go of needing to understand everything. This is humbling isn’t it? Having ‘understanding’ can be one of our securities. We may even see it as our ‘right’. Is there anything in your life for which you would do well to surrender your understanding into God’s hands?
Here’s a quote I came across recently; “our faith doesn’t give us the answer to all our questions, rather it ‘unveils a Person who allows us to live with the questions’.” (from ‘Inviting the Mystic, Supporting the Prophet’. Dyckman and Carroll. 1981)
Somehow we let go of needing all the answers as we take a hold of Him who can take care of all the questions.
V2. ‘But I have stilled and quietened my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.’
This verse puts me in mind of that process of maturing that a baby goes through as it grows up into a child. He progresses from feeding on demand from his mother, to a stage when he is fully weaned, where he trusts his mother to provide all the food he needs with regular meals and snacks. The infant no longer has to cry or throw tantrums in order to convey the message that he’s hungry. Now he’s old enough to last comfortably between the mealtimes. He knows that Mum knows his needs. He trusts her to sustain him.
Here’s a little thought … when we pray, how much do our prayers sound like the baby wailing and ‘demanding’ his food?
Have we matured enough yet to ‘still and quieten’ our souls and to rest in the assurance that God will take care of us?
Dear Jesus, Lamb of God, teach us how to pray the prayers of the Lamb.
Lets close our eyes, and picture again that little lamb that you saw before.
Can you see it?
Now lets allow Jesus to be that Lamb.
Can you let Him come close?
Notice how we almost have to become like a little child again to let Him come near.
See how vulnerable and fragile He is.
You may touch Him if you like. Feel how soft and warm He is.
Perhaps you’d like to sit down and hold Him in your lap for a little while.
Perhaps you’d rather scoop Him up and cuddle Him to your chest.
Jesus, is there anything you’d like to say to us as we hold You like this?
Just listen in the quietness of your heart and let Jesus speak to you with words or thoughts or a feeling inside of you.
Now respond in your heart to the Lamb.
We will open our eyes now, but you may continue to hold Him in your heart. Truth is, you don’t ever have to let Him go.
Is it any wonder that heaven bursts into songs of worship whenever the Lamb is seen. He is extraordinary. He is Jesus, the son of man and the Son of God. He has won a place of great honour because of His choice to demonstrate the fullness of suffering, serving love.
Read Revelation 4 and 5 where the Lamb is first introduced to us. Notice that when God Almighty, the Father, is mentioned in chapter 4 there are loud proclamations of worship made. But when, in chapter 5, heaven worships the Lamb they do so in song. Jesus, the Lamb, He makes our hearts sing.
I am gripped by the mystery of the ‘throne of God and of the Lamb’ spoken of in these 2 chapters. It is mentioned again in Rev. 22:1&3. God is one God, yet He sits on that throne as two … Almighty God and the Lamb. Isn’t it interesting that the One next to the Father is not seen as a man with holes in His hands and feet and a gash in His side? There must be some significance that Jesus is seen here as a Lamb.
For me this imagery enlarges my understanding of what love is. God is Love (1John 4:16), so I know that Love sits on that throne.
As I consider God Almighty I think of the fierce love of Song of Songs 8:6&7… love as strong as death … like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame … many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot wash it away. Nothing can separate us from this Love. (Rom.8:35) Think of its power, its strength, how it can never be defeated.
And then when I consider the Lamb I think of the tenderness and vulnerability of Love, its self-less-ness, its willingness to suffer, and its willingness to serve.
From under that throne a river flows. I think of it as a river of Love coming from the One who sits on the throne. Its just teaming with life!
We are all invited to come to that River. It flows with His powerful, fervent Love, but lets remember that it also flows with His suffering, serving Love.
Are we willing to be baptised in these waters?
There are times when we are referred to as sheep or little lambs in the Bible. I hope that what we’ve shared today helps us to truly know that Jesus understands our frailty, our weakness, our vulnerability, for He too knows what it is to be a lamb. He has so totally identified with us. May this comfort our hearts, and may we find freedom as we embrace the Lamb, His prayers and His Way.
Here’s a poem by William Blake, from his Songs of Innocence, written in 1789
Little lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bade thee feed
By the stream and o’er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Little lamb, I’ll tell thee
Little lamb, I’ll tell thee:
He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a lamb
He is meek, and He is mild,
He became a little child;
I a child, and thee a Lamb,
We are called by His Name.
Little lamb, God bless thee!
Little lamb, God bless thee!
I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Kate
http://educationonline-101.com
Posted by: Kate | December 10, 2008 at 07:04 AM
Thank you so much for your message. You have no idea how the timing of it brought me out of fear and anxiety of something that I am going to be going thru.
Posted by: Mary | December 06, 2008 at 11:24 AM
Dearest Fi, I thank God that you spend time with Him and that you are open to His leadings, this is a splended way of hearing and recieving from the King. I pray that this article will lead many into his presence with a fresh understanding of the Lamb, His purpose for and in us.
Thanks, and peace be with you,
much love June (Cardiff) xxx
Posted by: June Jenkins | November 30, 2008 at 10:27 AM
Fi, how wonderful! I sat and "pictured" the Lamb. He came up and bit my nose. (Not awfully hard, but quite a nip, still...) And then put both front hooves on my chest and His little tail wagged so fast. I felt Him say, "I choose to play with YOU. I love you! I PREFER YOU." He reminded me of an excited puppy. But I let out no small amount of tears as I laughed. It's easy to believe the Lamb when He approaches you :) Reading this article was a splendid time spent with our Lord.
Peace with you,
Love "D"
Posted by: Desiree | November 25, 2008 at 06:26 PM