As I went to sit down this morning to do my Advent reading and have some "still time", I had this amazing sense of this little space I'd made being like taking a few minutes to enter into the hallowed stable where the manger that held Jesus stood. I thought that perhaps this was my little pilgrimage to the sacred room, following in the footsteps of the wise men and shepherds. I went within and moved towards the trough stuffed with hay, but only found hay, no infant, no exhausted mom, no bewildered dad, no awed shepherds or weary travelers. I couldn't hear or even imagine any angels singing, so what was this moment for?
Then I looked again and I was in a cave, but it too was empty, save for some cloth tossed and left discarded in the corner. There were no guards at the entryway, no women coming with spices, no angel giving directions. I looked out the entrance to see a garden growing just outside it's door. It was lush and green, and the fragrances that wafted in on the breeze were so sweet. But not even the enticement of that heavenly scent could move me from this place. I wanted to see him! I wanted to hold the baby, look at that peaceful infant king, rejoice along with the heavens, but He wasn't there. And I wanted to see His resurrected body, touch His scars and have an angel tell me He had risen, but instead I stood in an empty tomb, feeling removed and alienated.
And then I heard someone call my name. He was out in the garden amongst the lush life of that creation, and I couldn't help but move toward that voice. I came out into the light of the day, the warmth of the sun, and the kiss of the breeze and I followed the call. I found Him there in the middle of the garden, on the redemption swing He had built for me, and He held out his hand in invitation to come close. We sat together, silent and content for quite some time, until finally I saw what I had not seen, that this was my hearts' garden, full and green and lush and vibrant with life.
And then He whispered in my ear . . .
"I don't live in a stable, nor do I remain in the tomb, but I live in your heart and have made it my home. Please walk with me in this glorious garden more often, I love my home, and I want you to see more clearly what I've done with your hearts' soil. Your heart is a safe place for me."
So my pilgrimage to find my Saviour has brought me to my own heart, and instead of being disappointed that I have traveled so far only to be back at the start, I am moved by the state of my garden, my space, His place. And I am encouraged that when I asked Him to live in my heart, He actually moved in, made it His own, and has cared and tended to it so well. AND, I know where to find Him, so close, so accessible.
Thank you Eden :)
Posted by: Deb | December 25, 2008 at 01:31 PM
Yeah, thanks for sharing this.
Posted by: Cindi Eaton | December 22, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Thank you for sharing this Eden,
i love your experience!
it rings so clear and true.
blessings!
adit
Posted by: adit | December 22, 2008 at 05:39 PM