blind today, I woke to the reality of being older than the day before. life happens. it does not abide. my willingness to allow life to stagnate into a definition of “it's just part of the process” is a sign of my agreement with modernity. it's my cooperation with the violence of this age. far from being a peacemaker... i am blind. i am deaf. and, often, i am a common thief pick pocketing God.
having been desensitized to pure beauty while reducing and commodifying life to a process...”another day another dollar”, I miss events. I miss pure beauty. I miss God. I miss life.
in this way, in this life, I am truth. alone to my own glory. all the while...
His glory fills the earth.
when these words move through me and within me - much like the rush of heat that overwhelms my body in this moment of supreme embarrassment - then and only then will I fathom the outrage that mud being placed on my eyes will heal me.
...balm of Gilead...
to follow Truth, must Truth blind me with mud?
to follow Truth, must Truth place me underneath baptismal waters hearing only the silence of the river?
to follow Truth, must Truth produce an adversarial boil within me so that my truths rise to the surface of my conscience for exposition?
impatience is the demon of the Ego...for, in this impatience, this beautiful unsettling...in this moment...
i am blind.
i am deaf.
each time i read this i see to a new depth what it means.
so ~ bring on the mud!
thanks
Posted by: janitor | December 01, 2009 at 02:51 PM