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February 13, 2010

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Deborah

Correction- * see 'Kevin Prosch' :)

Deborah

In the mid 70’s my brother was taken on a camping trip by a family friend. He was molested continually for 2 weeks. Before being returned home, his abuser told him he expected him to continue serving him sexually and if he refused, he said he would take his sister instead (me) He complied, to spare me. Over time, he began to question his sexuality. He went to several counseling sessions to deal with the experience. He was convinced he was gay, and encouraged to accept it. We lived in the West End of Vancouver. He was 14 and like anyone his age, he needed to find community, so he did. The teen-aged gay community offered him some sense of belonging, but his heart was broken and he turned to drugs and prostitution.
Then, he found Jesus, started going to church and fell in love with a girl.
His past haunted him, and he confessed to someone at church what ‘he had done’. He was kicked out of that church. He went back to the only community he knew; the gay community. He decided God didn’t exist because if God did exist, that would mean he would be going to hell.
He contracted AIDS and died.
I am not blind to connections and I am grieved that my brother’s sacrifice to spare me would land him a death sentence in the minds of God’s people. The God he fell in love with is not the same god who would lead a church leadership to remove a broken young man. I know he is with Jesus now: “No more suffering, No more disease, The rough and the smooth, The crooked and the straight (see Kevin Porsche)
I have had to work hard to forgive the people who were doing what they truly believed was right. The only thing left to say here is that when God said “My people perish for lack of knowledge” we have to know that we can and have let our ignorance to the heart of the Father toward people, become one of the devils greatest weapons against humanity.
He will help us if we let go of our need to defend ourselves as a people.

adit

it is not my job to love.

it is always a gift, and a privilege to be a vessel for love.

in the same way i have received this.


thanks!

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