Confession’s Crown
When you spoke of self-love
I did not know what it meant.
I’d caught only glimpses of this—
and I’d resist.
But a light had shimmered across the surface of my heart…
Revealing that Love was real.
It sparkled so beautifully—
I longed for more.
Yet, it did not penetrate
and I wondered why this longing kept ending in such despair.
So for years I simply swam in this water.
I learned how to float,
and, how to hold my breath to go deeper sometimes…
I practiced.
It was lovely there, exploring Love,
but it wasn’t enough.
Then one day,
You led me down,
meter-by-meter,
to the deep dark bottom of my soul.
All those years I had tried to escape this place,
to stay afloat.
Terrified by what it meant—
that I was not wholly good.
But, slowly, in the depths of this water,
I looked at everything that I had done.
And there, in the truth of my transgressions,
I found myself.
It was (eventually) a strange relief.
To face myself and say—
It is true:
the blood is on my hands too.
You stayed with me,
and simply let it be.
Because, it was.
This was me.
Then suddenly the floor of my own heart gave way,
as if a holy drill had been working all along,
deepening everything I’d ever known.
I discovered there that Love is limitless,
and that when I sink down into the depths of myself,
Love will come.
As if She’d always been there
--waiting.
The answer became strangely simple:
Love could not reveal herself to me where I was not.
I learned that I had more power than I’d ever known.
My own self-acceptance was the mystery key.
It unlocked everything.
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