Why Did I Delete My Facebook Account? Anonymous (with Brad Jersak)

Note from Brad Jersak: A friend of mine--someone I saw as a master in effectively using Facebook for 'gospeling,' moderating productive discussions and building bridges--walked away from that social media venue. When I asked why, he wrote the following and gave permission for me to share it. I find it disturbing, not only because it seems true, but because it is a worrisome analysis of the broader culture in which "we live, move and have our being" stands at this moment. It feels like more than an invitation to exit social media with the author, but stands as a call to repent of the social constructs that Facebook amplifies.

 

WHY DID I DELETE MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT?

Why did I delete my Facebook account? There are lots of reasons. I’ve been contemplating this for a while. Hosting conversations is damn hard work, especially when people are joining in at so many different angles. In one respect, I’m just tired. 

But there’s more …

I think we can all sense this. There are strong forces at work around us, political powers that are vying for control in the interests of immediate, all-encompassing change—a quasi-Marxist ultra-woke squaring off against a quasi-Fascist alt-right in an ever-widening culture war.

Facebook lends itself to a conflict like this. The medium itself trains us out of particularity, complexity and nuance and constantly guides us to think and live in terms of collective identities and affinities, often defined along moral-ethical lines. It also amplifies the dialectic of opposites, making it seem normative in a totalizing way.

And there's this pressure to behave accordingly …

I appreciate the encouragement I've received from people concerning my Facebook "presence". To be honest, I don’t care much about my "presence" on social media ... I'm interested in what can happen between people when they seek to be attentive and thoughtful while learning to care for one another. I’ve wanted to help humanize the medium a little, to explore the complexity of experience and invite nuance and empathy across lines that divide. 

For many—increasingly it seems—this kind of approach is worse than taking the wrong side. It’s a self-protective strategy that relativizes the truth and neutralizes progress.

That makes me sad.

To be clear, I don’t think Facebook is *necessarily* more problematic than other ways of relating. 

Relating is difficult no matter the channels ...

Face-to-face is certainly different in richness and complexity, but I have no illusions of it being easier to do well. It’s just ... different.

I think Facebook holds out lots of interesting possibilities for truthing-in-love ... I’m just not sure people are all that interested to explore those possibilities in earnest.

What makes Facebook problematic is not the digital technology per se, but the way people are inclined to engage it. We make moves that hinder relationship rather than help it. Worse, we revel in them.

Of course, we often do that face-to-face too ... It’s just that the effects aren’t ramified to the same extent. They’re less contagious.

Another way to say it: A platform like Facebook heightens social responsibility in some ways while alleviating it in others. The problem is that we’re shirking responsibility precisely where the medium requires it of us.

Comments

[Jeannine]

I so much want to pull the plug. Facebook has been far more devastating to my relationships than helpful.

[Eric H Janzen]

@ Anonymous:
The ability of social media to be used as a platform for meaningful discourse is one of those things that sounds good in theory, but unless it is in a highly mediated context, that ability has never really come to fruition. Facebook is not, and probably never was, going to be a platform that could sustain healthy dialogue long term. As you say, relating to one another in any context is challenging, but the increased ability to type out scathing and cruel remarks (often just for the trolling 'fun' of it) is simply too easy on facebook or any other social media platform. People do it because they feel removed from the actual action of relating to another person. Such remarks are made without any true consequence. It's 'just' words on a screen...but of course this isn't true. Words are the most powerful action we have as human beings, even if we have forgotten this to be true. I may have once believed that the ability to connect with others in such a unique way could be of great benefit to us...but increasingly the fruit that I see even in my own limited social media use (I only have a facebook account, none of the others) leads me to believe the experiment is failing and failing fast. We would do well to return, in earnest, wherever possible, to meet with one another in person, look each other in the eye, and discuss our beliefs and differences with the most respectful, humanizing, and gentle language we can imagine.
You may wonder, given my cynical view, what I use facebook for. I primarily post commentary and pictures of foods I bake and cook at home for my family. Occasionally, I post pictures of the drawings I do in my little sketchbook, which aren't very good. Ironically, I think this is what facebook was actually intended for: lighthearted and shallow social connection. We have mistakenly put an expectation on social media to be some sort of excellent means of communication. If that was the intent, it has barely lived up to such a calling. I personally use the 'hide' feature to rid my facebook feed of any and all politically themed posts regardless of their particular place on the spectrum. I rarely take part in any ongoing discussions about religion, though I'm often tempted to. Honestly, I would way rather talk about them in person with people.

In the end it may be that facebook and other social media reveal to us that we are far better off encountering one another in real life where we have, at least, a little more hope of engaging with each other in meaningful discourse for the simple reasons that tone and facial expressions are the most important parts of human communication. Also, in person we are witness to the immediacy and power of our words. I like to believe that most people in person, would have the common decency not to say some of the incredibly awful things they fire off from their keyboards.

I support your exit from Facebook. I don't think you should ever second guess your decision either.

cheers,
eric h janzen