The little hands flutter with excitement. Each child gets a chance to whisk the flour. The kids laugh as a tiny patch escapes the bowl, dusting the countertop like snow. It’s not the most efficient process for making pancakes, but it is the most meaningful.
The children smile as their mother kisses each forehand and voices her approval and gratefulness for the help. I’m convinced they’ll remember this feeling of acceptance for eternity. She looks just like Jesus.
When Christ looks out among the hungry multitude, He proposes the same arrangement to the disciples—would you like to participate in what I am doing? Why else would He suggest the impossible task of feeding so many? Jesus—taking the cues of His Father—is always playing the long game of relationship.
Relationships grow in a myriad of ways, but the fastest and most effective way is side by side. Jesus could have fed all those men, women and children completely on His own, but He and His friends would have missed out on a moment to grow their relationship through actively participating in the work together.
Those richest in relationships understand this fully—the sweetest part of life is inviting or accepting invitation. It takes patience, gentleness and the ability to ignore the clock to reach down to another’s level and allow them to join you, but it’s a gift of grace, time and unity.
Paul Young said, “any healthy family moves at the speed of its slowest member.” This is a stark contrast to our society’s addiction to efficiency porn and win-at-all-costs striving. A few years in that rat race leaves you empty in countless ways, but chiefly in relationships.
So Jesus calls us out of this endless striving for approval and place. What is the Incarnation if not the greatest declaration of eternal acceptance to all of humanity?
When Christ makes His home with us, it’s not to coerce or give orders. It’s to invite participation, not because it makes the process more effective, but because it makes the relationship stronger.
This call to participate is a call to engage deeply. Spouses, children and friends call us to this level of engagement throughout the day. Drs. John and Julie Gottman, couple specialists, call these little nudges “bids to connect.”
Adults often need these nudges towards real, lasting and nurturing relationships—a fresh break from performative ones. And what a gift to receive those bids for connection. When I am healthy and stable enough to accept that invitation from my children to rest in their play, I can feel the Spirit affirming my participation. Where does the bid to sit and rest and play originate? Again, I feel her answer.
As the Spirit—through her own voice or another’s—bids for deeper connection, embrace the rest, freedom and relationship.
In the heart of the Father, Son and Spirit, our participation brings the same kiss and affirmation of acceptance as a parent preparing pancakes with her children.
The mother—modeling her Heavenly Father—knows the pancakes don’t really matter; the relationship with her children does. Always the long the game.
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