As I began my commute by car to work one morning last week, I made a deliberate decision to pay closer attention to my inner dialogue and the impatience and frustration that often bubbles up when I contend with traffic that’s moving slower than I’d like. I would characterize myself as a zippier and more assertive driver than most, and how I respond to the traffic around me is often my go-to barometer for how I’m doing spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. In this unexpected spell of intentionality, I — I’m slightly embarrassed to admit — even came up with my own private make-believe (and funny to me but nobody else) campaign called the “NMO (Not Mad Once) Campaign” complete with its own hashtag (#NotMadOnce), in which I challenged myself not to get mad even once during my long commute.
Our wandering minds in these situations can hold a lot of power over us if we let them. They lack intentionality and a purposeful trajectory and are instead at the mercy of the deeply planted cacophony of cultural and social instructions that make up our day-to-day lives. But it’s our wandering minds and the thoughts and our decisions in life that we mistake for our true selves that often get us into the most trouble. These are, or should be, the targets of transformation.
Although I teach and write on the inner transformation of a peacemaker and am well-versed in contemplative theology and acknowledge its profound importance, I’ve been slipping in this department in my day-to-day life lately (I often have the line of the late Robin Williams’ character, Sean Maguire, from the movie, Good Will Hunting, running through in my head in these moments: “I teach this shit, I didn’t say I know how to do it.”). My lower-than-normal attentiveness to my inner life lately may have to do with several life challenges that have distracted me the past number of months, and perhaps the stress applied by these circumstances has temporarily (hopefully) shifted my priorities and compelled me to set aside what I’ve long viewed as indispensable.
Whatever the case, it appears that my deeper self was somehow jolted out of its stupor in a moment of clarity and inspiration to actually try again to follow through with what I teach and therefore normally deem vital. And so as I maneuvered down the freeway that morning last week, I isolated four practical tips for myself to implement in those moments of frustration that can easily breed pride, impatience, anger, intemperance, envy, vengefulness, grudge-holding, violence, and other passions and vices.
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