Can you imagine Jesus EVER saying any of the following things?

I have inserted Jesus' name in brackets for effect:

"Thus saith the LORD [Jesus]… Slay both man and woman, infant and suckling."

– 1 Samuel 15:3

"Joshua destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD [Jesus] commanded."

– Joshua 10:40

"The LORD [Jesus] delivered them before us; and we destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones."

– Deuteronomy 2:33-34

"And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD [Jesus] commanded Moses; and they slew all the males…. Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him."

– Numbers 31:7, 17.

"The wind of the LORD [Jesus] shall come up from the wilderness, and his spring shall become dry, and… Samaria shall become desolate… they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up."

– Hosea 13:15-16

"With thee will I [the LORD Jesus] break in pieces the young man and the maid."

– Jeremiah 51:22

I am convinced that people who demand a hyper-literal reading of the Old Testament have never actually read it (at least in its entirety). They just seem to blissfully (or conveniently) ignore the horrible implications of the above and below passages. The church fathers Origen, Gregory of Nyssa, John Cassian, and Augustine all thought it was akin to blasphemy to read these types of passages literally because of how horrendously they malign God's character.

To say that the following passages, in their LITERAL sense, accurately describe the words, attitudes, and actions of the God revealed by/in Jesus Christ is an abomination. Sadly, this abomination is what has created atheists, chilled children's hearts, and robbed Christianity of its coherence. Let's take a look at the unthinkable verses in the Old Testament.