Lauren Southern’s This is not Real Life – A Memoir in Review
Review by Luke Schulz
Full disclosure: I know Lauren Southern personally. We have never been close, but back before she went viral, she and I were both first-year political science majors at UFV. Early on she rose to internet fame, and then she disappeared from my life save for a few chance encounters (most recently at Jordan Peterson’s lecture in Abbotsford, BC). We have mutual friends, and a mutual mentor in Ron Dart, and through those channels I have heard snippets from behind the scenes of her ever so dramatic life. All of them have aligned with the accounts in this book.
Lauren could not be overlooked. In her rhetoric she was fearless; the diversity-inclusivity crowd was increasingly intolerant of her provocations toward their orthodoxy. I believe it was Peterson who quipped “people get very upset when you poke them in their axioms.” For Lauren, this was as much a sport as it was a compulsion to force a referendum on prevailing narratives that concerned her. Whatever was deemed sacred by the politically-correct found itself in her crosshairs, and she rarely misses. As far as I can say, Lauren Southern’s rise was for better or worse an uncalculated, and unvarnished ascent. She was then no secret liberal or feminist, and those shifts in her rhetoric appear to me to have been changes due to authentic growth and trying experiences, not a revelation that she has been a fraud this whole time.
Bono once wrote of the King’s fate that: “Elvis ate America before America ate him.” You might say that Lauren Southern ate the internet before it ate her. The same mechanism that propelled her to notoriety is now that which will likely never set her free. Her audience and critics alike expect a certain persona and demand that the leopard cannot change its spots. Elvis’ real passion was gospel music, but the weight of infamy, the demands of the industry, and the expectations of his followers incentivized his continued portrayal as the King of Rock and Roll, until, it seems, his private sorrow consumed him. Lauren’s fall from conservative grace-land has been along those same lines. She always wanted to get to something deeper, more meaningful, but in some ways felt pressured to churn out the content she was known for. Her desire to move on to still waters and green pastures is today hotly debated online.
When I first heard of the project, I naturally thought “what business does a 30-year-old have writing an autobiography?” Au contraire, This is not Real Life is part Guy Ritchie film, part Greek tragicomedy, part espionage thriller. It contains an incredible trove of behind-the-scenes moments that shed light on the inner-workings of influencer media. Tea has been spilled. Even if you know nothing about Lauren Southern, many of the chapters of this book will fascinate you.
Through it all, comes the tale of a young millennial propelled by, then consumed by, the then new phenomenon of YouTube fame. Deep beneath the provocative public persona lays the story of a woman yet to truly know herself, the nature of new media, or the cynicism of the political realm. She has run what famed music producer Daniel Lanois dubbed “a twisted mile.” For a person with such a concretized online image, there are no straight paths here.
This is not Real Life reads like the cathartic confession of a formerly naïve but fearless adrenaline junkie and provocateur who is now desperately looking to turn the page. It is a journalled attempt to expel the toxicity of the past and break through into the next chapter of life. There is a clear longing to outlive a legacy fraught with contradictions, a raw lament at errors made, and an attempt to, despite courting controversy, set certain records straight. Lauren does not hold back from self-criticism and expressions of regret. The authentic, emotional, reflective style of the writing compel the reader onward.
Lauren is painfully aware that, for many, granting her a fresh start is a big ask. Altering public perceptions on such a scale is usually a task reserved for corrupt politicians and reformed criminals; Will Smith may have an easier time moving on from the infamous slap. If read at face value This is not Real Life is a yearning to move on, with plenty of intrigue, excitement, and drama along the way.
It all begins with an idyllic but ideological childhood. To those on the outside, it can be hard to understand the mindset of one raised within the sphere of evangelical fundamentalism. Lauren’s original worldview, wherein popular stories and games like Harry Potter and Pokémon were not just banned, but branded gateways to demonic forces, breeds a certain kind of naïve zealotry that to the rest of society appears as wanton belligerence, harmful superstition, with conspiratorial leanings. From the get-go such children are trained to live in opposition to societal norms. Lauren’s original penchant for controversy no doubt stemmed from these early perspectives.
Those of us raised in that tradition are not necessarily looking to cause trouble. Our perceptions of these choices are more like a longing to be emblematic of “the good,” which means a vehement rejection of things our peers see as normal, innocuous, or even virtuous. As philosopher Charles Taylor put it in his work Sources of the Self, the human ego longs to identify with the good. For a conservative evangelical, resisting the culture and deep skepticism of society go hand in hand with embodied goodness.
Many young evangelicals have said and done a great many intolerant, controversial, and/or ridiculous things, especially once they are thrust into the world from such a sheltered nest. But few of us have put these things on the record and thus under the microscope as Lauren Southern has. This origin story undoubtedly has had influence on Lauren’s trajectory and character. Though detractors will be quick to point out the many hypocrisies in her behaviour that arise through the story (drug use, attention seeking, rage-baiting, etc.) the collapse of such a perspective, the inadequacies of its tenets to address many of life’s experiences, precipitate implosions of all kinds.
Walter Brueggeman’s theory of the Psalms seems applicable here. When one’s initial “orientation” proves inadequate, one does not simply move on, one is thrust into the throws of “disorientation” and depending on the level to which one has left their shadow unchecked, the resulting chaos can be a breeding ground for all manner of vices. There is a lot of disorientation throughout Lauren’s story. It can take a long time to journey through this place, until one acquires the wisdom necessary to find “reorientation.”
This is not Real Life recounts the tale of one such person collapsing into the chaos of disorientation after setting forth from a (at least perceived to be) sure-footed launch pad. Perhaps originating with good (albeit immature) intentions, life events and Lauren’s own ambitions brought about a series of painful wounds and setbacks. Many adventures and hardships were endured before Lauren concluded that it was time to seek reorientation, no matter the personal cost. In fact, resisting that call was crushing her. This threefold formula maps onto the main arc of the book.
One early stop on Lauren Southern’s journey was with Ezra Levant and Rebel Media. Her reflections on that period reveal the beginnings of disillusionment with the alternative conservative media machine. Much of the content is designed purely for clicks and outrage; while fundraising efforts were often carried out under morally dubious circumstances. Get clicks, get paid. Virtue and value have nothing to do with it. Expecting to find principled, cause-driven characters, Lauren found that such an organization operated shamelessly through schemes of wealth accumulation akin to the tactics of televangelists. A large swath of the Rebel audience is undoubtedly made up of skeptical evangelicals ripe for exploitation, as, it seems, was the young aspiring journalist.
In a later chapter, Lauren calls into question the character of Tommy Robinson, who is most famous for his anti-Islam and anti-immigration rhetoric in the UK and being the former de facto leader of the “English Defence League.” His story is quite complicated – seen as a hero for exposing the now public scandal of England’s “grooming gangs” who preyed upon English girls only to have the authorities run cover. Robinson has had various legal problems, prison sentences, and credible claims of dangerous slander against minorities.
Lauren suggests that Robinson is in real life more of a grifting gangster than a noble patriot, claiming to fight for the British people while turning donations into hookers and blow. She also claims that he introduced her to cocaine; all claims that he and his “manosphere” compatriots have since disavowed. It is worth mentioning that Lauren is just one of many to question the reputation of Robinson. The backlash against these claims is amplified by Southern’s former affinity for Robinson and the mob-like mentality of that corner of the internet. For some, Robinson is a hero of the cause and is beyond scrutiny. Repeatedly, Lauren suggests that meeting your heroes is a disappointment.
The most newsworthy claim in the book is that of a horrid run in with influencer Andrew Tate, who enjoys his own “hero” status among a subsection of young men. It is by far the darkest chapter in the memoir. The story has been picked up by a variety of outlets including Rolling Stone and The New York Times. In as little detail as possible, Southern implies that Tate drugged and assaulted her during a meeting in 2018 that was supposed to be about funding a new conservative media platform.
The irony of moving from one who criticized the liberal cry to “believe all women,” to now asking to be believed, is not lost on Southern. She is surprisingly gracious toward Tate, even hopeful that he may heal and change. Sadly, even with Tate’s well-known attitudes toward women and various charges of sex crimes and trafficking, Lauren’s critics accuse her of inventing the encounter to sell copies of the book. The section is available for free on Southern’s Substack. You can read and judge its merits for yourself. I know where I stand.
Other chapters cover the events around filming documentaries, betrayals by allies, various international legal battles, detention by numerous authorities, her relationship with avowed leftist Destiny, and the tragic unravelling of an ill-fated marriage that left her a single mother. From shitposting pariah to the politically harassed through CSIS and Canadian parliament, Lauren Southern’s memoir is a fascinating but tragic, action-packed tale of one riding the extreme wave of internet stardom.
Is this autobiography a carefully crafted attempt at manipulating public opinion? A chance to make some more money? Or is Lauren Southern truly going through some sort of metamorphosis? My money is on the latter. The vitriol hurled at her by former fans and allies is similar to what is thrown at someone being excommunicated from a cult. Surely, the views and priorities of a 20-year-old, albeit a deeply opinionated, bombastic one, could dramatically shift a decade on. Our souls are not frozen in time like the digital posts and images we all upload. We may yet see her transformation come to fruition – but it is also likely that Lauren Southern fades from the public memory into a quiet, private life.
What is clear: Lauren Southern has been through more extreme trials than most have before the age of retirement. Somewhere between firsthand experiences of Mediterranean refugee camps and escapes from real-life, Nordic, neo-Nazi clubhouses, a rigid, dogmatic worldview has been utterly fractured, and a once self-assured young woman was left in the wreckage, scouring for pieces of sanity, hope, and meaning.
Through endless trials, dangers, and low points, the Lauren who has emerged on the other side asks us to believe that she is seeking a reorientation and a return to normal life. Southern appears now to be seeking that “Northerness” described by C.S. Lewis; a longing for a fixed point on the horizon, free of ideology, full of nuance, leaving behind false images of society and self once tightly clutched. She seeks the real quenching of deeply felt Sehnsucht. She wants a life centered around family, friends, and community. To deepen her education. Should she achieve genuine resurrection, rebirth, This is not Real Life will become a powerful testimony for the restoration of even the most reputation-savaged and intransigent souls in our society.
Do you believe in the rehabilitation of one of the internet’s most controversial personalities? Pick up your copy of This is not Real Life and decide for yourself.