I find myself in the jaws of distress and danger once again. I have
left the spacious place with all its benefits and blessings, and have
traded it for the precarious jaws of distress. But I hear God calling,
wooing me from that dangerous place to the table that is in the
spacious place. (Job 36:16)
I turn from my distress and I follow the Good Shepherd back to the wide
open spaces of safety. There in the midst of freedom is the table. I
sit down, still stinging from the wounds the jaws of distress
inflicted, and I survey the table. All those same wonderful things are
still in abundance on the table only I’ve lost my appetite in the midst
of what I’ve just gone through. So while the blessings on this table
are exactly what I need, I’m not able to partake, I can’t seem to
consume the very things I need the most.
And then I look up from the table and I see my enemy standing there
(Psalm 23:5). When I used to read this passage I imagined “the enemy”
standing there. It was easy to sit and eat when they were someone or
something that I only equated with pain. It was easy to sit smugly and
enjoy my feast when the enemy present was an “evil-doer”, but more
recently I have begun to put a name and face to that enemy. It’s no
longer some red faced, horned, fork-tailed creature, but a living
breathing person (and often someone I love). Now they stand there
watching me at this banquet laid out for me, and I’m to enjoy this
table in their presence.
Love your enemy. Bless those that curse you.
I find
myself in the jaws of distress and danger once again. I have left the
spacious place with all its benefits and blessings, and have traded it
for the precarious jaws of distress. But I hear God calling, wooing me
from that dangerous place to the table that is in the spacious place.
(Job 36:16)
I turn from my distress and I follow the Good Shepherd back to the
wide open spaces of safety. There in the midst of freedom is the table.
I sit down, still stinging from the wounds the jaws of distress
inflicted, and I survey the table. All those same wonderful things are
still in abundance on the table only I’ve lost my appetite in the midst
of what I’ve just gone through. So while the blessings on this table
are exactly what I need, I’m not able to partake, I can’t seem to
consume the very things I need the most.
And then I look up from the table and I see my enemy standing
there (Psalm 23:5). When I used to read this passage I imagined “the
enemy” standing there. It was easy to sit and eat when they were
someone or something that I only equated with pain. It was easy to sit
smugly and enjoy my feast when the enemy present was an “evil-doer”,
but more recently I have begun to put a name and face to that enemy.
It’s no longer some red faced, horned, fork-tailed creature, but a
living breathing person (and often someone I love). Now they stand
there watching me at this banquet laid out for me, and I’m to enjoy
this table in their presence.
Love your enemy. Bless those that curse you.
I have a lot of questions. I was wooed here to this table, and my
enemy is present and seems to be there with permission. Was my enemy
invited to this table as well? Why on earth am I supposed to eat in
front of them? Why am I being honoured with lavish blessings in their
presence? Why is it so much harder to receive with them standing there?
Now that they have a name and face it changes everything. They stand
there in the place of the enemy and yet I know that they love both God
and me. The enemy is supposed to be my enemy and not someone I love!
Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.
The foundation I stand on is beginning to shake and I begin
feeling unsure of myself. A bigger question creeps into my mind and I’m
not sure I want to know the answer. If someone I love and who loves God
can stand at my table in the place of my enemy, at whose table do I
stand in the place of the enemy? Is that possible? Would I be
considered the enemy in anyone else’s life? Not in an evil devilish
sort of way, but as someone who is able to wound and hurt those around
her. So where does that lead?
Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.
Why has this table been prepared for me in the presence of my
enemies? I’m convinced this isn’t some cruel or mean joke on God’s
behalf, so then what is the point? Why would the “jaws of distress” be
invited to my safe place? I was just rescued from that very thing? What
on earth is God up to?
Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.
I look back down and consider the blessings that God has prepared
for me on this table. My questions stop for the moment and I focus on
the Good Shepherd beside me. I see compassion flowing out of his eyes.
Compassion for me, the one he has rescued out of his delight for me (2
Samuel 22:20 NIV). I see love for me that overlooks my foolishness at
being caught in those jaws again. I see mercy for any other role I may
take at anyone else’s table. And I see grace for me, that I may be
invited to this table and to be given this wonderful banquet of
blessings without any sort of merit on my part.
Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.
Then a thought dawns and I am horrified by what it suggests. How
often have I been the enemy at God’s table? How often have I stood
there in contempt and watched? I can handle the reality of being at
some other persons table as the enemy, but at God’s own table? Shame
and deep grief are rising up in me and I want to flee from this place.
I want to run away and not let this truth be seen by my enemy. But then
we look at each other, my beloved enemy and I, and I see in them that
same shame and grief, we mirror each others hearts. What if I am the
enemy at my own table?
Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.
It is true. I have sat in both roles at this wonderful banquet of
blessings that the Good Shepherd has prepared for me. He has invited me
twice. He wanted to make sure that I would be there, that I would be
blessed.
Can I love this enemy? Can I bless this enemy? Can I share
compassion and mercy, grace and love? Can I invite this enemy to my
table? Can I invite my beloved enemy to sit at this table to be
blessed? Can I bless the one who has cursed me and love the one who has
hated me?
My questions remain.
Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.