“They saw Jesus…”
“When
they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the
pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” So they gathered
them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley
loaves left over by those who had eaten.
After
the people saw the miraculous sign that Jesus did, they began to say,
“Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.” Jesus
knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew
again to a mountain by himself.
When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum.
By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. A strong wind
was blowing and the waters grew rough. When they had rowed three or
three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on
the water; and they were terrified. But he said to them, “It is I;
don’t be afraid.” Then they were willing to take him into the boat,
and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.” John 6: 12 – 21
Read
once through, then again very slowly entering into the various
components of the story and the life of Christ and His disciples.
Overview:
- God shows up in the grand scheme of things. – The Seen Part of our Journey
- Question: Will He show up for me/you/us personally? – The Unseen Part of our Journey
- He does show up. He always comes. He never leaves. – The Waiting Part of our Journey
- He gets me to where I am to land. – The Reality of our Journey
- Personal Listening Experience – Your invitation to encounter God for you
1. God shows up in the grand scheme of things. The seen part of our journey
God
has displayed Himself in many ways. Here are a few that come to mind
for me: Creation, Virgin Birth, Resurrection, Appearing after death,
Pentecost, etc…
Other times that God’s presence has been evident: Documented medical and historical
events, in our personal faith experiences – testimonies, a birth of a
child, exploring the intricacies of a human body, and in the discoveries of the amazing creations on earth such as I’ve been fully enjoying with my family as we watch the film documentaries, “Planet Earth”.
Eden & I have had a full year of doing contemplative and silent retreats, prayer days, and women’s
conferences. Our Fresh Wind prayer teams have been a part of so many
prayer ministry opportunities, personal sessions, group encounters, and
a tremendous Teaching Workshop on Listening Prayer & Inner
Healing. We have known and met God in our church services in worship,
at the communion station, in the prayer tent, at hospital gatherings, and especially at the many funerals we have attended together.
Also what comes to mind are
the wonderful miracles and profound moments of God’s living presence
“showing up” in the Life of Christ as in the miraculous feeding of 5,000 that our text tells us. There are also the miraculous events that we are promised that are yet to come.
It makes total sense that the bewildered miracle receivers would come to such a bright conclusion as:
“Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.”
- Will He show up for me/you/us personally? The unseen part of our journey
Recently
while putting life on “hold” to spend some concentrated time with the
Lord I sensed Him inviting me to the scriptures, to a story about Jesus
and something about water and a storm. There are a few such stories so
I waited for a bit more clarity. As I sat waiting, nothing more came
to mind other than to open my Bible, start looking and that Jesus would
guide me. As I did this it came to mind that this is what so much of
life is about – simply doing what we know so far,
only what we’ve been given to do and that Jesus will guide us as we go
– a simple, yet profound reality of life with Christ that I so often
forget. As I turned the leaves of my tattered old Bible through the
gospels I came to the first mention of water and a storm in John
6, the passage that we’ve already read. There I felt invited to enter
in. I began to be deeply touched (watch for these heart movements
within you, they are likely showing you something important that is
going on within you.) When I saw the disciples in the dark wondering
where the Lord was, loudly from within me I began to wonder if He would
show up just for them. Just for me? Or only in the big events of
history or ministry? Would He come to my wind & waves &
darkness? If not, I had a strong reaction – I don’t think this
ministry thing is going to work for me – this was my firm thought. An
interesting piece to note that John recorded is that they were 3 – 3
l/2 miles across the water. This equals my 3 – 3 l/2 years of deep
waters of darkness & challenges that I have been facing. Three
& a half is a symbolic number for great trials, also l/2 of 7 –
midway. What now?
Where
did He go? Jesus is now unseen, and perhaps unfelt. This brings us to
look at spiritual formation on our spiritual journeys. Thomas Keating, a near 90 year old Benedictine monk has taught me much on spiritual formation. I quite like him as I learn from his teaching DVD’s. I like his long robe, his glowing glory face, and his down to earth mannerisms and communicating
(he even swears!) He teaches about our being formed through seasons of
dying, resurrections, with plateaus along the way. He encourages a
posture of resting and stillness in the times of the darkness of
not knowing so that we may hear him breathing or whispering in our
basement. He jests that the Holy Spirit thinks we like this
transformation and that He assumes we are ready for the next piece of
being formed after what feels like a short peaceful plateau. It is
much like a caterpillar going from summer light to cocoon dark. Being
in the darkness of a cocoon is much like times of deep spiritual
formation, being transformed but not knowing what is going on. In
reality a caterpillar’s DNA is actually changed – she is a totally new
creation.
What is going on? Mysterious, hidden work of God in the dark. I am presently reading, “The Dark Night of the Soul” by Gerald May. He takes the mystical experiences of St. John of the Cross and Theresa of Avila and brilliantly
brings them together with the modern findings in today’s psychology and
spiritual understandings. He writes simply about the deep things we
experience. I will quote a few pieces of his phenomenal insights.
“The
dark night is a profoundly good thing. It is an ongoing spiritual
process in which we are liberated from attachments and compulsions and
empowered to live and love more freely. Sometimes this letting go of
old ways is painful, occasionally even devastating. But this is not why
the night is called “dark.” The darkness of the night implies nothing
sinister, only that the liberation takes place in hidden ways, beneath
our knowledge and understanding. It happens mysteriously, in secret,
and beyond our conscious control. For that reason it can be disturbing
or even scary, but in the end it always works to our benefit. It is a
deep transformation, a movement toward indescribable freedom and joy.
And in truth it doesn’t always have to be unpleasant! To be immersed
in mystery can be very distressing at first, but over time I have found
immense relief in it. It takes the pressure off. I no longer have to
worry myself to death about what I did, or can do, because there really
is no way of knowing. I realize that I’m not as much in control of
life as I’d like to be.”
“They saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water;
and they were terrified.
But he said to them, “It is I, don’t be afraid.”
- He does show up and He always comes. The waiting part of our journey
Is
He coming? The question of all times. An advent longing for The
Christ. And now a daily longing for Him and often for His second
coming, when all shall be well. We deeply sense our need of
Him and our desires for Him to come. The ache of this life often seems
to hurt far too much to endure, when will it end? “Primal Wound,” are
the words I saw recently in mind’s view while experiencing some extreme
discomfort down deeply within my being. I longed to stop the pain and
found myself reaching for whatever would make it feel better, for a
moment, an hour, or hopefully forever. “Nouns” are
what I call the persons, places, or things I long for or grab for when
in this state of being. I was thankful that I also was sensing the
Lord inviting me to be still, to not move to a “fix” to “fix” it. “Be
still and know I am God in this deep place, Lorie.” “I will meet you
there, wait for me to come.” As I used all my energy to focus, to
steady my heart, to still my body, I felt the Lord come gently pouring
Himself into me. It was like pure crystal water to my parched place
that needed to dry out of all else. I realized that I often let Him
come to me, but I also grab a bit of whatever else I’d like so there is
a mixture of God & other which is a very hard thing to get out once
its in there, it can take a very long time to be removed, even years.
Every so often in the hours and days that followed I would feel Him come again, and fill me more, how kind of Him. He was restoring my
soul, what joy & freedom. I believe I was experiencing a piece of
the dark night, not knowing what was happening within me, yet in the
dawn I see the transformation results of greater freedom and truer
love.
Often
on this healing journey I have felt that this is taking way too long
and I’ve joined the people in John 6, “Let’s make Him King by force.”
“Let’s just get it done, and get on with it, it’s all taking way too
long, let’s make it happen our way, with our strength.” Sounds like
this may be how Judas felt and just wanted to see Christ come into His
Kingdom ALREADY!. Force Jesus to be King in my child’s life, in my
health issues, in my husband’s business, in our church situations, or
how about in my own weaknesses? It just doesn’t work. I can see why He withdraws, it’s not how
He does it. He can not be forced. I must wait – an advent wait – and
let Christ be formed and born in each situation – His way, His timing, by His Spirit where I can not control it, resist it, or manipulate it. How good it is to simply do what I’ve been given to do, and leave the rest up to Our Father. I sure can identify with being 3 or 3l/2 miles out on the water in a row boat that doesn’t feel really secure at a time of storm and there wondering where Jesus is. It’s been a most tumultuous
past 3 or 3 l/2 years of my life. Three and a half is a symbol in
scripture for great trials. It is half way to 7 which represents
“completion.” Ya, out there somewhere, rowing along, wondering……
In a recent scripture meditation, Lectio Divina,
I was drawn to “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the
desires of your heart.” I was enjoying the beauty of this as I sensed
the Lord draw near and offer me “the desires of my heart” asking if I
was ready to receive them? I stepped forward in my heart as if to say
“Of course.” When suddenly I stepped back, put my hands on my hips and
said, “No, actually. I wanted them then, and then, and then, and I
wanted them to be like this and this and this… I don’t want them now.
Don’t bring me flowers now.” I was quite surprised at what surfaced
from within my heart. I was also thankful that the Lord is full of
grace and mercy and seemed to just stand there and say, “Well, what now, then? Are you sure?” Of course, one glance at Him and His perfect love, my will melted to accept His along with His perfect timing, powerful wisdom, and the fulfillment of His love and the desires of my heart.
I like that the disciples didn’t recognize Jesus right away, as I
wonder if that happens to us often, too. Perhaps He is in the scary,
freaky, crazy, stormy things of our lives – right there – somehow? In
reality when He created us He wove Himself right inside us, we carry
Him – He doesn’t come and go, show up and leave – He is in us – always
loving us and being God. He can withstand rejection, anger, distrust,
idols, our moods, lies, confusions…. He can’t be anything other than
God, Immanuel, God with us. Oh how He helps us see and be aware of His
presence within and about us.
We will know His voice. Perhaps you know His voice well by now? Or
maybe it is a new experience and you will get to practice and learn to
trust His voice that speaks to you. Let us hear Him say: “It is I,
don’t be afraid.” May we then let Him in the boat of our life.
God can wait, and often does. I guess He knows who He is and what He is capable of doing. Waiting
lets the water of His word, of His Spirit, the light of His love, take
time to get to those deeper seeds inside us that may never get touched
with His presence. Let Him take His time to come to you there.
I’ve
been reading a little old book from Andrew Murray, called, “Waiting on
God.” I’d like to share a piece that is now highlighted in my personal
journal. “It is bless-ed (old English) when a waiting soul and a waiting God meet each other.” It is like a kiss. He goes on to say, “God
cannot gather the fruit til it is ripe. He knows when we are
spiritually ready to receive the blessing to our profit and His glory.
Waiting in the sunshine of His love is what will ripen the soul for His
blessing. Waiting under the cloud of trial, the breaks in showers of
blessing, is as needful. Waiting makes the blessing doubly precious.” He says because “then we find our life and joy in Himself.” Maybe something is ripening in the sunshine of His love in you?
“…and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.”
- He gets me/you/us to where we are to land? The truth of our journey
Of all the places I would like to land, the primary one is WITH HIM, either an active awareness or a deep trust that He is with me, mindful of me, caring about me & my situations. I’m
sure we are all in that boat together. Often I seem to be able to get
nine-tenths of the way on a path or in the race with the skills,
abilities, and grace of God within me. But there is always that
one-tenth when I hit the end of “myself,” which wasn’t “myself” at all
but His life in me, where I can’t get to where I want to land. It is
the place of surrender where I desperately say out loud, “I need a
Savior!!!!!” which is followed with a rejoicing, “And I have a
Savior!!!!!”
If we could do it “ourselves” we certainly would have all done it by now, however, we would not actually be happy after all. We are made for the Divine and a life of interaction with the Divine – be it active or silent. Satisfaction comes with connecting with Him.
Where are we going? To Eden restored, to Canaan’s
freedom from bondage, to eternal life – Heaven and Earth made fully
alive, new, where “Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that
Jesus is LORD.” That “place” were all
will be healed and all shall be well !!! Our seed of faith that we’ve
been given might feel really tiny sometimes – but it is mighty. He
made it well, it is faith from God. It may have a small beginning but
will grow into a harvest of faith. When praying for Jacquie recently I
saw her wading through a harvest field of faith & faithfulness that
has grown this year. It is growing in each of us, too.
Where can we land for now? Eventually we trust and hope in Him that His kingdom will fully come and His will shall completely be done. But where is my place of rest, peace, and the fullness of God for now? Jesus says in John 10 – “I
tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. Whoever enters through
me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. I have
come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good
shepherd – I know my sheep and my sheep know me…..”
Let us land with Him, in His pasture, saved and having life to the full
in His Kingdom, now, here, With Us. Notice in John 6 that it was Jesus
who got them there immediately – it was not of the disciple’s efforts.
Once again we enter the dark night where we do not know how or what God is doing, but eventually we land where He is taking us.
Have you felt this shift before? A coming to Him in agony of soul and
after meeting Him receiving a divine peace that transcends all
understanding. How kind He is. In the middle of the night last week
when I couldn’t seem to hear, see or land with Him, He used this
unsettled time to get me to Bill & Jamie for a time of prayer. He
knew I needed community and that this was where I was to land then. We
are on an ongoing journey of miracles, darkness, His coming, and great
joy.
When I interacted with Jesus in the Bible Story I was delighted to see where my heart and His love
had us land together. When you move to meditative moments, as Bill
encouraged us last week, you will see where your heart is at – where
your relationship with God is at – and it is a wonderful time to meet
with Him and settle things that are unsettled within us. When we
“immediately” landed I was so thankful, so joyful, so crazy in love
with Him – I just wanted to hug Him to pieces. At these times of presence I don’t really care where we land as long as we are together and I know He cares about me, and that He does life with me in the big cosmos and in my little row boat. Yes, I saw Jesus. I didn’t land in heaven yet – with all my family, finances, health, or future issues totally resolved – but I landed in a place of peace on my journey, a
place of freedom from the chaos. Actually I was like a little girl
grabbing her Daddy’s leg and not wanting to let go – not for fear – but
for sheer delight of being with Him. He was dragging the boat up on
the shore and I couldn’t stop embracing Him. At first I thought He was too busy for me, but very quickly He let go of the boat and spent time with me. There we were on the beach – together – Him caring for me, and me gratefully receiving His love and returning it to Him. For now, I’ve landed. I’ve come to a deeper place of peace, a deeper knowing his love and care for me, and have a refreshed trust in His leading.
VERY
IMPORTANT: Gerald May describes what I have recently experienced in my
dark wind & waves – He goes on to say of the Dark Night – “The divine presence doesn’t intend us to suffer, but is instead WITH us in all the experiences of life, In both
suffering and joy. And that presence is always inviting us toward
greater freedom and love. Each experience of the dark night gives its
gifts, leaving us freer than we were before, more available, more
responsive, and more grateful. Like not knowing and lack of control,
freedom and gratitude are abiding characteristics of the dark night.
But they don’t arrive until the darkness passes. They come with the
dawn.”
Listening Exercise Jesus wants to meet you in your boat of life.
- Take a minute to identify & feel what your wind, waves, or darkness might be.
- Sense your awareness of
God being with you or not. Take time to let Him show Himself with
you. Listen to His words … “It is I; don’t be afraid.” Or other
things He may be saying to you. - Can you let Him in your boat – close to you and what you are experiencing?
- If you are able, let Him care, cherish, and hold you right now. If you have no sense of Him with you yet, can you choose to trust that He will come? He always comes.
- Where does He want you to land today, a settled resting place? What is the truth in this piece of your journey? Jesus can you give us each a word, a song, a scripture, or a symbol of your love for us today – help us to listen to your voice of love & care for us personally.
“They saw Jesus…”
“Freedom and gratitude are abiding characteristics of the dark night… they come with the dawn.”