As
I approached the door I scanned the amount of vehicles parked outside the
house, which told me there were a lot of people inside. I rang the door bell
could hear laughter and voices in conversation, all the sounds you would expect
to hear from an ongoing party. The door opened and as I was invited in I
inwardly sighed, “Here we go.” I walked
into the room, looked for a seat in a corner, sat down, and began attempting
not to feel. This never works, and by the time I left the party I was feeling a
vast range of emotions that I knew would eventually wash into one of feeling
weary and tired. “I hate parties,” I told myself.
The
above is a true scenario replayed many times in my life. It describes many of
my experiences being in groups of large people. It was not until I was in my
mid-twenties that I would discover language for this problem. I had no
understanding of why I was affected in this way when in groups of people. I
coped as best I could, which to be honest was not well. The problem, it turned
out, was that I was a burden-bearer and a keen discerner, but did not know it.
Not
knowing led me to become a solitary man. I enjoy being alone, perhaps an oddity
to some, but for me it is a refuge. Not knowing, however, also led to some
serious problems. I struggled with depression for years, and still do
sometimes. I became intensely cynical of others, distrusting, and wanted to
have very little to do with people. My emotional health suffered greatly as I
rode conflicting waves of what I felt from those around me in the midst of my
own very strong emotions. This would leave me inwardly exhausted and
mysteriously angry. In short, not knowing was not a good thing. My response, or
more properly said, my reaction was to avoid people, judge them, and to hide
from them as much as possible.
I
first learned about burden-bearing when I began to attend Samuel’s Mantle, a
prophetic school headed by Murray Dueck. It was here that I would discover what
burden-bearing was and what life was like for those with the gift. I began to
feel a great sense of relief as well. I was not crazy and there was a very real
reason for some of my problems. Now the process of healing could begin, for I
would learn how to not only live with my gifting, but how to properly respond
to it.
When
I walk into the room I am quickly affected by what others are feeling. Imagine
it like this: there is a radar antenna in your spirit that picks up the signals
others are emitting. The data comes in the form of feelings and emotions first.
Now imagine how many different signals come hurtling towards you from a room
full of people, and not just one from each, but multiple signals. It is easy to
see how this can be overwhelming. The longer I am in a room filled with people
the more I pick up on and the more of the feelings of others I begin to carry.
Burden-bearers often express this overwhelmed state as “feeling heavy.” Without a proper response to the burdens and
pain of others this is the inevitable overall feeling, but it is an evitable state.
Feeling
and picking up the burdens of others is what I call the initial response. It is
the raw emotional data burden-bearers begin with. When I walk into the room as
a burden-bearer it works like this: I pick up from others their pain; their
wounds, their anger, their frustration, their fear, etc… These are examples
of what lie nearest the surface of the heart, even though we think they are the
secret pains we hide deeply. What is deeper is far different, but we will
discuss that in a little while.
One
of two major spiritual signals I pick up on is the pain of others. The second group that my antenna picks up on is
more insidious and it causes me to trip up more than the first: judgments. Understanding how this
functions is extremely important for burden-bearers, so let me see if I can
describe it clearly. When I walk into a room, I need to sort out two aspects of
judgment that affect me. First, there are the judgments people make against themselves.
These have very real power in a person’s spirit. Imagine those who have judged
themselves to be “losers.” This is how they view themselves and on a spiritual
level it is as though they have put up a sign reading “Loser.” When a
burden-bearer picks up on this judgment the initial response is not, “That
person thinks of himself/herself as a loser,” but rather they feel what the
sign reads: “Loser.” In a very real way the burden-bearer is drawn into that
judgment and their initial response will be “That person is a loser.” An
opinion of others is quickly formed, as we all know, and if we stop at the
initial response we will leave feeling that the person is indeed a loser.
Judgment has led to judgment.
The
second type of judgment I pick up on are those imposed on a person by others.
This aspect of judgment is so damaging it can only be described as cruel. It
works like this, in keeping with our loser theme: Imagine a person who is
judged by another as being “a loser.” What happens spiritually is that this judgment becomes a sign posted
over the judged person that reads “Loser.” Wherever they go this sign follows. When I walk into the room I will
feel this judgment and again my initial response will be, “That person is a
loser.” Every time this judgment is
affirmed by others in the spirit it is reinforced. The letters on the sign
become bolder, louder if you will. The ultimate and cruel result is that the
person so judged will, at some point, come to believe the judgments made
against them. Then that judgment gains a power that will both lead to self
judgment and even serve to fulfill it in some way. Our imaginary loser will
begin to behave like a loser. This can be heard when someone says something
like “Well everyone thinks I’m a loser, it must be true,” or “Everyone thinks
I’m a hopeless addict… might as well get high.” Judgments defeat the human spirit.
Remember
what I said about picking up on the surface of the heart. This is exactly where
judgments sit, covering over the truth that God speaks about a person. If as a
burden-bearer I stop at the initial response, seeing only what is on the
surface of the heart, I am not truly operating in the gift of burden-bearing.
Rather, I become a judge perpetuating the vicious cycle of judgment itself.
Similarly, if I carry away the pain and burdens of others and never do anything
about it, I become nothing more than an embittered dumping ground instead of
operating in the actual gift of burden-bearing. A deeper response is needed.
This
deeper response requires looking further than what is on the surface of
another’s heart. It requires a deeper understanding of how burden-bearing is
meant to function, and it requires the help of the Holy Spirit. This deeper
response is not complicated, thankfully. What is difficult is not being
overwhelmed by the burdens of others and not allowing judgments to have the
last word. The response of Jesus to us is
always rooted in love. It is his love that burden-bearers turn to and allow
to flow through their gifting.
When
I walk into the room and I pick up on a judgment against someone there are two
primary questions I have learned to ask the Holy Spirit. The scenario might go
something like this: “Lord this person feels like a ‘loser’ to me” (this is the
initial response). “Can you show me the treasure that is deeper in their
heart?” With this simple request I begin to operate in my gift. First, I have
engaged with Jesus instead of engaging with the judgment. Second, I am moving
past the surface of what the person’s heart is covered over with. Third, I am
allowing the Holy Spirit to show me how he values the person instead of
allowing myself to be drawn into the devaluing effect of the judgment. I am no
longer in danger of participating in judgment, but move to a place of being able
to bless the person. This leads very naturally into the next question, “Lord,
how do you see this person?” I give
Jesus the final word about others and in so doing, I get to see the truth about
them. I have ministered to many people simply by sharing with them what Jesus
has shared with me about the treasure he sees in their heart and how he views
them. His words about people disarms the power of judgment and allows truth to
overcome labels that are so often lies. Another question to ask could be, “Lord
how do you feel about his person?” Such questions can so profoundly shift the
burden-bearer’s initial response to someone that they wonder how they could
have responded that way in the first place.
When
dealing with the pain, wounds and burdens of others I have come to understand
that I cannot carry them for too long. Christ alone can bear our burdens fully.
When I walk into the room and I begin to take on burdens I believe that this
eases their own burdens to some degree. Their pain is made somewhat lighter in
a sense. But I am not meant to carry that pain perpetually. The ultimate
destination for burdens is into the hands of Jesus.
Bearing
the burdens of others opens two powerful avenues of ministry to the person. I
am able to pray for them with insight, for the gift reveals what ministry the
person needs. This is where burden-bearing and other gifts of the Spirit begin
to mix. It may become a word of knowledge or a prophetic message that directly
addresses the burden. My practice in these times is to ask the Lord if what I
am feeling and sensing is something he wants me to speak to the person about.
If he says yes then I ask to pray for them and share what he has been showing
me. If he says no, then I know that this is a burden that I will carry to him in
intercession. When I carry such a burden to Jesus, I lift it up to him and ask
that he take it. As he does, I ask that the person I picked it up from would
receive from Jesus his love and what they need for that particular burden.
Responding in these ways results in powerful ministry. This deeper response
allows the gift of burden-bearing to operate as it is meant to and prevents
burden-bearers from falling into the traps of the initial responses.
Life
is not as neat and tidy as we would like it to be. What can really cause
problems for burden-bearers is the overloading of their spirits with the
generalized pain of others. This often happens when there is no opportunity to
identify what burdens are coming from where and there is no time to take to
speak with Jesus about what is happening. The longer I am in the midst of a
large group of people the worse this generalized burden bearing becomes. This
often leads to me wanting to leave parties and gatherings a little earlier than
my wife would like, but thankfully she understands what is happening within me.
Most
burden-bearers can also probably identify with this general feeling of sadness
and weariness. They will feel it when they are finally alone at home. At these
times I have found that if I pray for the Lord to receive any burdens I have
picked up and to minister to each, he cleanses my spirit of the overload. I
close this cleansing prayer by asking for peace and the burden of Jesus, which
he promises will be light. This practice of cleansing prayer is something that
I do a few times a week to prevent burdens from remaining in my hands for too
long lest they overwhelm my heart. When I neglect this practice, it does not
take long for me to realize that I need to do it.
For
many burden-bearers the gift is a difficult one. It may even seem like a curse.
Many people learn a little later in their lives that they have it, but by that
time it has caused pain for them as well as confusion. I received very deep
healing as I released years of burden-bearing to Jesus when I came to
understand that I had this gift. The weight that lifted from my spirit was
incredible, and I encourage anyone who thinks they may be a burden-bearer to
find out so they can give what they carry into the proper hands. Though the
gift is not an easy one to have, it can be an incredibly powerful way that
Christ ministers to others through us. Though at times I still find myself
overwhelmed, I now know that I have an opportunity to bring the love and
ministry of Jesus with me when I walk into the room.
Thank you Eric, this is helpful.
A question though, i find that the signals i pick up are pain and fear, the Lord has helped me in dealing better with the pain signals, but i find i am constantly overwhelmed by fear. It doesn’t matter how much excellent information i have about fear, or even that the Lord says not to fear, it is with me all of the time.
In these days it is easy to understand the prevalence of it – but my response seems like burden bearing gone wrong. I do attempt to leave these things in His care.
What are your thoughts?
Hey Anonymous,
Glad you enjoyed the article. As to your question about fear I can only give some possible answers. I didn’t touch on it in the article, but often we are most sensitive to those burdens we carry personally. In your case it may mean that you yourself have a root of fear in your heart that is all your own, which needs care and healing. This root would make you sensitive to the fear in others and when you carry the fear burdens of others it will amplify your own fear making yours seem larger than it really is. I don’t know if this is your case or not, but it might be something for you to check on just to be sure. What I certainly do know is that Christ’s desire for you is to live free from fear and not to carry fear with you in any constant way. A burden of fear once released should not leave any residue with you. Let me know what happens.
After we release the burdens of others to Jesus and have prayed for them, prayed our cleansing prayer, and should be burden free there may be what feel like burdens still. This is a good opportunity to talk to Jesus about our own hearts and to welcome his ministry in our own lives.
cheers,
eric
Thank you so much for writing this. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thank you Eric,
Funny, I was in the store yesterday and as I waited in line I could hear two young women talking about every-day normal stuff, work, school etc…but I heard something else too. I heard “I’m fat, I hate this… etc”
I felt shame, rage, depression and fear.
A pressure started to build and I began to cry inside until I couldn’t hold my breath any longer (that usually works)and some tears surfaced.
I tried the; “Oh these allergies are really bugging me today” thing, (I think maybe it worked)
As I was leaving I suddenly felt angry… “I can’t even go into a store and buy cheese!”
The biggest challenge for me is to know in my knower, ‘do I love people? do I really have love in my heart to give? I say this because I’ve spent a lot of time trying to ‘survive’ people… on certain days, everything in me wants to run as fast as I can to the nearest beach and I pray “Please God…don’t let anyone talk to me” Pretty spiritual huh? What I’ve really been longing for, is to love people. But instead I’ve always felt I needed to hide in some way.
What you’ve written here makes so much sense and so thank you for writing it. I’m going to begin training @ Samuels Mantle in Sept and I’m looking forward to learning more.
Peace.
I agree with Anonymous – as I was reading, I just thought, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
I first heard the basic burden bearer teaching in the last few years, and it was such a relief to me. This article goes even deeper, and especially significant for me was telling of your [Eric’s] deep relief after releasing the past years of burden bearing. I hadn’t ever thought to do that, yet have been dragging around this canyon-sized load of pain and anger, mistakenly thought to be all mine! Much of it is not, I believe Jesus told me. Spent some time with Him on that this evening.
I so relate to the scenario you describe, Kaitlin. What comes to mind is the Galatians verse on burden bearing, and how it fulfills the law of Christ. Is that law this one (?): “A new command I give you, that you love one another.” As burden bearers, walking in this gift through the Holy Spirit, we’re wired to love people this way! Such a relief, because I too agonize over my perceived lack of love, yet desire it greatly. This is such a natural way for me to love people.
Thank you. Blessing.
Oops, misread who posted what. I agree with Kaitlin’s thanks, and relate to de’s scenario!
You have no idea how amazingly timed me reading this article is. I have been in such a dark place recently and I was seriously considering going to the doctors with depression. I couldn’t explain to anyone what I’ve been feeling cause it wasn’t any one thing everything just felt really heavy.
I work as a carer for adults with mental disabilities and have found the job incredibly difficult recently not because the job itself was too hard it was because I felt emotionally overwhelmed every day.
I can’t thank you enough Eric for sharing this. Your message has renewed my hope.
God bless
Ross
I have to say its pretty incredible to read this and gain some insight to myself. After having a rough weekend in a family reunion I remembered I had read this article a couple of months ago and came back to this, for I felt so overwhelmed by the critical and judging air around me. I have always had a hard time being around a large group of people and find myself to be very quiet in those settings normally. Would you recommend any other steps or books to gain more understanding with this?
Thank you so much.
Mary
Great book for you Mary: “The Highly Sensitive Person” which is from a more secular approach. It is sort of the original great book when this personality type was first discovered.
You might also check out chapter 6 in my book, “Can You Hear Me?” entitled “Meeting God to intercede” … there are a few good tips in there that I learned from Murray Dueck and Eric McCooeye.
I have also come accross a personality type theory which I found to be quite insightful into the way I process and deal with stimulus. It’s called the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator. http://www.personalitypage.com/home.html is a good site that explains the different types.
It was so great to read your article – I too have the burden bearing gift and only discovered 8 years ago what it was and how to use it. Its so fascinating to find others who have gone through similar experiences. As a child I found life very hard going and my teenage years were so confusing as I rtried to sift through my own thoughts and fears and those of others. But recently as God has really done loads in me I have learnt how to use the gift God has given me and now there are time when I can choose to connect with it and times when I can turn it off – which has been a huge blessing to me. My heart is to bring God’s love, freedom and healing to people’s lives and I thank God that he has gifted me in this way.
So thank you for writing the article its great to hear ther are others out there moving in this gift!
Eric, thank you for writing this article…I only just found this website today but already the writings in here I can see are pretty…intense.
You say that burden-bearing is a gift…I never knew this. I am currently a first-year student at Trinity Western University, but that doesn’t mean I am a super good christian or anything…
I do have a question though. What if you can’t get rid of the burden? So many times my friends will come up to me and ask for help…And I LOVE helping people. I would take a bullet for the random stranger sitting across the room from me at a coffee shop, simply because I hate seeing people hurting. It kills me to see someone hurt.
You say we are to give it up to God. But what if we can’t? what if we try to give it up but we still feel the burden when we are alone? And how do we know if it is our own hurt we are feeling or if it is the hurt of someone else that we haven’t given up to God yet?
Thank you so much for writing this article… it cleared up quite a few things for me.
Sometimes when we give up a burden and it remains with us it means that God is asking us to carry it for a little while. When we carry another person’s burden it eases the pain and pressure within their spirit and may make it easier for them to go through some healing. When this happens we need to pray a few times throughout the day to see if it is time to have that burden removed. The other possibility is that some burdens touch on similar pain in our own hearts. This is why burden bearers are better off being self aware and willing to deal with their own pain and issues. To successfully walk in this gifting you have to be willing to receive the healing of Jesus in your own life…otherwise, as most burden bearer’s know, life can be very heavy and difficult.
Hope that sparks some more answers for you I_S.
cheers,
eric h janzen
Hi Eric,
I have only just found out and accept that I am a Bureden Bearer, people who know me have said I am psycic and even a real psycic told me a few years ago that I had a gift. I have prophetic dreams and have always been able to communicate on a deep level with people. I have had a big life and I work as a security guard dealing with sometimes violent folk. I feel I have been protected from harm on occasions but have always suffered from some of your described experiences also. Today I found a gold cross I have carried around for years probably from one of my children. I put it on today because now I feel I can and I am more than worthy, walking through the shopping centre I felt so proud I wanted everyone to notice this cross I feel like a new woman and my life has only just begun. Thankyou and I would love to tell you my story one day.
Colleen
I’m not crazy! Christians really do get it!
Hi my name is Sean I’m 26 and have grown up in the church as a missionary’s kid.
I grew away from G-d in my teen years and only just came back to him truly within the last few months with many periods of trying to be luke warm since i was about hmm 13-14. I can say that a huge part of my whole problem with G-d had been not dealing with being a burden bearer as G-d would have me do because i never knew that there was any one out there who believed as i do and had experienced this. Tonight is the first time in my whole life where i have ever read anything written by any one person from a christian perspective that truly gets it. one of the major reasons i’ve had issues with christian and indeed organized western religion before this moment was indeed the same major reason that i was atracted to other believe systems and/or drowning my gift in substance abuse, that before tonight only my pagan friends got me. only those living in spiritual darkness could recognize any semblance of truth and tell me “Sean you’re not crazy, this is a gift.” but not tonight! tonight i know that there are believers who rejoice by my side and pray as i do. who suffer as i do and whose hearts r broken as mine is. i am not alone. i am not the only one called and burdened with such alone. G-d has shone me that i have peers. Happy-Face!
Dear Sean,
Happy face back at you! What a blessing to read your comment. It was for fellow believers like you that I wrote the article. Spiritually sensitive people often have the same experience as you and I want affirm for you that are not alone and that it is indeed a gift. May Jesus guide you to some fellow believers who ‘get’ it and can offer you some community. We are out there…
I wrote this article some time ago now and I am amazed at how many people it has touched since that time.
Humbled,
eric h janzen
WOW I identify with this I would like to learn more.
@ grayc knight
Glad you found something to connect with in the article. The best book I know of currently on burden bearing and being a sensor/feeler, as it also sometimes called, is by Murray Dueck and it is titled ‘Keepers of the Presence’. Murray leads a prophetic training school called Samuel’s Mantle. Pretty sure his book would be available on their web site, which is samuelsmantle.com. I read the book and kept saying things like ‘Yes, that’s it!’ and ‘Yep, I get that.’ I also know Murray and know that he has really walked through the burden bearing trek in his own life. Check it out if you want. If you discover any other good books please let me know.
cheers,
eric h janzen
One question I would like to ask, I am a burden bearer and I also have to deal with a very painful period in my life. Put it briefly my husband nearly died twice, colitis and a stroke, mum was nearly killed whilst walking the dog, dad died, and my husband lost his job. He’s since had catarcts and varicose veins removed and suffers badly from gout.
Given the burden bearing gift I am physically feeling the effects of such pain for my family. Other than tears, which are helping, is there any other way to relieve this burden? Symptoms include spams in my back, shoulders and neck as well as bad constipation.
The doctor tells me its stress but I suspect it’s partially represeed grief and the burden bearer in me is crying in pain
@ Clare Ashton
Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about the troubles your family has been facing. It sounds very tough and I pray Jesus will constantly be with you in the midst of it all.
I have been pondering your question for a few hours now and asked Holy Spirit what a good response would be. The thought that came to me for you is this: Sit before the cross and allow Jesus to help you lay each of your burdens down there.
For your physical pains/burdens, I think you should pray through each one. Something like this: “Lord, I release to you the burden causing the pain in my neck and pray that you would carry that burden now. Minister to it and bring healing to it.” I’m sure you will have your own words, but that might help you get started. I really felt like you should pray through each one individually and not in a general catch-all way. Also, it would be great if you could call on some friends or church folks to simply pray with you. Many of us burden bearers tend to forget we have a community of believers who can help us out (I am very guilty of that one).
I suspect that once the burdens you are carrying for your family begin to lift into Jesus’ hands it will allow your own grief to surface more, so maybe be prepared for that.
I hope this helps in some way and I will be praying for you.
cheers,
eric h janzen.
Dear Eric,
Thank you very much for putting it out there. After being challenged this week to keep off of (fast) social media for awhile until I learned how to have self control and not be emotionally lead and then being told today by my spiritual dad/pastor that I need to learn to keep all that I see and feel in and take it to Jesus, I immediately felt alone, unequipped, not capable to have self control like everyone else seem to have at my church. I was reminded by the Holy Spirit of the gift of discernment and burden bearer. It didn’t delight me at first bc more now then ever I felt like it was a curse and not a gift. And if it was a gift then what was I doing different to think different, bc I didn’t have much to go on but to release it to Jesus-that its not my own-and its not for me to carry. But I must say, that wasn’t enough. I felt alone on this bc I didn’t.know any steps to take but to cry out to Jesus & most of the time I felt it was all me anyways, and didn’t connect it with what I seen either.
Reading this, I immediately remembered a childhood memory of a girl I use to defend from bullies in middle school. I did all you said to do and felt the difference but there was still something still bugging me. So I went deeper with Jesus. I was shown the girl with the same memory I held on to and as I got closer to her I started to see her clearly and instead of holding on to her hurt I hugged her. Immediately I started to weep deeply and I started to speak everything that God was giving me, into her now.
Its amazing to believe this is God’s perfect timing. I truely believe he used me tonight to minister to her today wherever she’s at, bc of something that happened in the past. It seems to me after I did everything you said, there was more I wanted to do and it was a hug. I wasn’t close to her like that to give her a hug, I only stood up for her. but that’s what I seen myself doing, and I’m believing it’s also God’s embrace for her too. So if it wasn’t for my walk with Christ now, that hug would of lefted me still not feeling whole. Bc of my walk (with the help.of yours Eric and others that comments I read) I was able to spiritually hug her and speak life into her no matter where she’s at! Now that’s something to celebrate!! Praise God!! This has definitely been a night of breakthrough! ♪Freedom♪
Once again, thank you Eric for being obedient in “putting it out there” 🙂 and for everyone’s comments, for they too are so so helpful. Happy dance!!
@Lioness Vivian,
What a blessing for me to log in and read your comment. Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully, when others read your comment they will be encouraged as well. I was struck once more how the gift of burden bearing can be a difficult one and too often leaves burden bearers feeling isolated and alone. We need each other it seems…if for no other reason than to remind one another that it is a gift, and not a curse…and also that we aren’t crazy hahaha.
May Jesus continue to show you how to work through the burdens you carry so that both you and those you bear burdens for experience the loving ministry of his presence and grace.
cheers,
ehj
Thank you Eric. I found out I was a burden bearer just one month ago and I’m still learning how it’s a gift. At first I was asking God what His return policy is on gifts and then I got mad at Him because I’m 51 yrs old now and I’ve had this gift my entire life and if you don’t know what it is and you’re just feeling all this stuff it stinks. I was on antidepressants for years. so now I’m learning about the gift and your article has helped and so has everyone’s comments nice to know we’re not the only ones. I’m not weird and a blacksheep. It’s a gift. I’m still learning but I will take a look at the books mentioned here. My first teaching on this came from http://www.elijahhouse.org/ where my counselor got her training. Thank you again.
I thank you for writing this. I sit here with tears because this is exactly what has been happening to me for years. I am so blessed because the Holy Spirit led me to this web site. If there is any information on burden bearing out there that would help me I would be ever so grateful.
Thank you so much for this amazing eye opener what a great relief!!!
I thought something was really wrong with me and I am not a strong Christian because I feel so burdened with every one’s issue, even at the expense of mine. I just hated to see people suffer, cheated or helpless. Your description is simply me; Just today someone said I am a burden carrier/ bearer and I kept quiet because it was like an ‘eureka’ moment, I had to Google what ‘burden bearer’ means for deeper understanding, and ALAS! I found your article is just meant for me. Thank you ever so much!!!
1)Now how can I get more developed in this and be a vessel o honour ?.
2)any recommended books, dvd or messages on this topic. ‘BURDEN BEARER.’
Daisy,
Thanks for this comment. Re: further reading, see Carol Brown re: The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive: Understanding Your Gift of Spiritual Sensitivity.
Oh dear. I am still fighting this – only recently came across burden bearing as a thing. Every time I think it’s not me, I hear someone use words to describe burden bearing and they are the exact words I have used to try and explain things. The radar, walking into a room and knowing what’s going on for people etc. I realise I used to push through and see below the surface judgement. Deeply in fact. Only now I know I have stopped and I have become cynical and judgemental – fed up and exhausted with people and I defend myself with keeping to myself. And I’m stuck there. Hard to accept this as a gift, I don’t want to feel so much, or have more people lean on me just because I can see and help with what is going on for them.
I hear what you are saying, Miranda…and every burden bearer out there can empathize with you, I’m sure! Here is what I’ve continued to learn: Remain in Jesus and remain in his love. This means in practical terms, making the burden bearing about focusing on Jesus instead of the overwhelming feelings that can come with the gift. In fact, the gift part of burden bearing is in the process of having to turn to Jesus with what we end up carrying…sharing it with him and releasing the burdens into his hands. We are drawn into his Presence as we seek to unload what we have picked up from the people around us…so in a sneaky, round about way we get to further and deepen our relationship with Jesus because we have to! Otherwise we end up overwhelmed and over burdened. I would encourage you to let God know exactly how you are feeling and then ask him to lift the burdens off of your spirit and ask for a filling of his peace and his lightness. His intention is not that you be stuck and isolated, but rather that you would share in his joy as he is able to carry what we can’t. I don’t point out to people that I am a burden bearer very often…I operate behind the scenes, carrying what I pick up for a short time before releasing it to Jesus. I think the bulk of burden bearing operates this way. I will pray for you today that Jesus will help you get unstuck and renew your spirit with some of his fresh water.
cheers,
eric
oh wow this article and all these comments have really saved my life. Im a teenager who has suffered serverly with depression and anxiety, that has come from the feelings of being so overwhelmed not being able to go out to church because i was afraid of large groups as i am a christian that scared me a lot and made me believe there was something wrong with me. i never sleep i just lay up thinking about people and why i feel the way i feel and not knowing was the worst part, but reading this after i was told i was a burden bearer makes me very relived to know that i a not allow and i no longer have to be afraid that god hasn’t forsaken me he is with me and i have this gift because of him so i will embrace it and it will bring me closer to god.
Wow – this article was so insightful and just what I needed. Have felt so isolated throughout my life with this strange ability to see into others and to literally feel/sense their pain. I don’t personally know anyone else who can relate. For example, in reading a book about orphans, I carry the pain with me for days and months, feeling responsible and that I should be helping more, yet become overwhelmed with the impossibility of being able to “change the world.” I am in the social work field and have many opportunities to use this gift of empathy and burden-bearing. Lately I’ve felt that I’m suffering from compassion fatigue or burn-out. Often feel like I don’t have much left to give. Need alone time with God to re-charge, yet I still feel the burdens and pain of others while in alone time. And also feel guilty when not using my time to help others. Anyone else struggle with guilt over not being able to do enough? Just being real here. I know God can help me (He is the only one who really can). But I’m thankful to read this and communicate with others who can relate!
@Anonymous,the toughest years of being a burden bearer are probably the teen age ones. So much is going on in you during those years…adding burden bearing into the mix makes it even tougher. As one who survived that stormy time (and it wasn’t easy…you have all my empathy!) I want to encourage you to hold on, you can make it and you are going to be okay. Remember to tell Jesus about everything you are feeling…don’t hold back with him. Not only does he want to hear and share in all those swirling thoughts and emotions, he wants to help you carry them and lift from you the stuff you don’t need to carry at all. I’ve said it many times, but it has to be said again and again to us burden bearers: We carry a burden for a time…but we always have to release them into Jesus’ hands. That is the point of the gift…carry and give away to the Great Burden Bearer.
cheers,
ehj
@Sally, I understand what you are saying about feeling guilty. It seems to be a part of burden bearing, which makes sense. We are sensing/feeling significant burdens in other people and because we are walking in deep empathy our natural (and spiritual) response is one of love…we want to help. Things we see/hear/feel go into us deeply and have a deep impact on our hearts. This is part of the gift…and part of the challenge. I once read an article in the paper about a boy who had suffered some terrible abuse. I was at a coffee shop and I started to cry. Please understand that I am a tall man with a significant beard and my hair is somewhat long. I looked pretty strange to the people sitting around me, but I couldn’t turn it off. The story broke my heart. I carried the burden for that little boy around with me for at least a week. Finally, the Lord told me I needed to release it to him. I couldn’t carry it any further than to his arms. He then taught me something: I could keep the burden, feeling the pain of it…or I could give it to him, the one who could do what I couldn’t. He could take my burden bearing as intercession and go in the Spirit and minister to that little boy. The point is, that we feel guilty because we feel like we aren’t doing enough, or should be trying to do something. Yet, in God’s eyes, the sharing of the burden with him is action…it is a spiritual action of intercession, prayer, worship, ministry. I don’t think we are to spend too much time feeling guilty that we can’t change the world…after all we actually can’t…but we serve the One who has changed the world and all of reality: Jesus. When guilt comes to rest on me in this way, I just have to pray: thank you Jesus that you are the savior and not me…please receive this burden and have mercy.
cheers,
ehj
So I would love some insight. I realized I am a burden bearer too. I am a slow learner when it comes to giving the burden to God, and how to keep myself healthy. The thing that troubles me the most is how do I not bring crap home to my family who also seem to be highly sensitive. (wife and four kids). My greater dilemma is that we believe our youngest daughter may be a sensitive feeler. If it seems burden bearers realized they had this calling from birth but didn’t realize it till later on, then I am finding a lack of info out there as far as how to keep a child healthy spiritually when they don’t even necessarily understand. As a parent I feel she is under our wing of authority and protection and yet it seems she still picks up from our feelings, worst when we have a bad week ourselves. Fear seems to constantly hit her, and I wonder if it is our atmosphere, but believe that we have authority over all that. Is any of this making sense? It’s refreshing to see others speak out and share their experience, makes me feel less crazy. And yet I worry about raising our kids in a healthy spiritual lifestyle.
@Concerned Burden Bearing Parent,
You have all my empathy. I have a daughter who is a sensitive feeler like I am. At first, I felt bad for her, but then I realized I had something my parents didn’t have for me: understanding and experience. I won’t dare call myself an expert on raising sensitive/feeler children, but I will offer you what I’ve discovered so far. First is giving understanding. I’ve been able to make it normal for my daughter. She understands that there are going to be times when she picks up on other people’s emotions and spiritual stuff, including her family’s. Honestly, I think understanding that you can sense what others are feeling is more than half the battle for burden bearing children because they learn to begin discerning between their own feelings and what isn’t their own a lot sooner than those of us who knew nothing. As parents, we can help them navigate that sea of feelings with simple questions like ‘Are you feeling upset after being around all those people?’ If they are, help them remember that they may have picked up some burdens along the way. I keep an eye on my daughter and use my own burden bearing gift as I sense whether she is overloaded by other people’s stuff or not…and I talk to her about it. I make jokes about it with her…’Oh man, that was heavy!’ and she can smile in relief knowing she wasn’t the only one feeling something.
Fear, anger, sadness that seem out of place to you are good signs that your burden bearing child has picked up burdens from others that they need to learn to release to Jesus. It is the same for them as it is for us: Dear Jesus, please take into your hands the things on my heart that aren’t mine to carry…amen. Imagine if you and I had made that kind of prayer a habit from a young age? I think my entire life may have looked very different.
As for your own burden bearing health and what you bring home…I can only encourage you to continue making your own habit of daily releasing to Jesus the burdens/spiritual baggage you’ve picked up throughout a day or work week. The more peaceful we can make our homes for our burden bearing/spiritually sensitive children the better, for a home where Jesus is known should be a refuge for them. I know from my experience with my daughter, navigating trying to teach her about being sensitive has caused me to grow in my own gifting and become wiser in it…not to say I don’t have more to learn and more wisdom to gain.
I hope some of that helps, but I can definitely say, that any spiritually sensitive child with a parent who understands something about it is already ahead of many of us who didn’t have that growing up.
Please ask more questions…this is a great topic.
cheers,
eric h janzen
Reading this article has been such a blessing to me. I have struggled with feeling of anxiety and fear for most of my life. If I was in a store when I was younger and someone came down the same isle as me I would have to go to another isle. The most bizarre thing has happened since I’ve turned 30. I’ve started having what I thought to be auditory hallucinations. I’ve been to several different doctors including a psychiatrist and they all seem to say that I am healthy. What I’ve discovered over the last two years is that many of the things that I hear are things that haven’t happened yet, but usually happen in several days and sometimes weeks later.
I’ve also been in a room with several other people and many times I get all these different thoughts that run through my head that I would never think of. They can be the most off the wall comments and things to where I started believing that they are coming from other people and not me. I work in a prep room at a local community college and the room is kind of off in the back to where hardly anyone ever comes by. I often wondered why I felt some comfortable in the prep room, but I’m beginning to believe that it’s because I can feel other people’s emotions and thoughts.
The hearing voices part made me think I was developing schizophrenia, but then those things that I heard started happening and it felt like I was in a constant state of continual deja vu everyday. I am very thankful for all of the people who have posted here about their experiences. I’m currently praying to the Lord that he would connect me with people who can guide me or train me in whatever this is. I haven’t seemed to meet anyone in person who has been able to identify with what I’ve been going through, so thanks again for those who have posted and for the original author’s blog. May the Lord bless each of you and keep you safe from the enemy.
Hey It’s 2018- and reading this has been super helpful. Thank you so much!
@ Thankful.
Thank you for leaving your comment. I’m always blessed when someone leaves a comment on my article about burden bearing. For those who are interested in a slightly expanded version, I have written a short book entitled: A Handbook for Burden Bearers. It is available on Amazon for the cheapest price I could make it. The little book goes into more detail and offers some insights and stories that aren’t in this article.
cheers,
eric h janzen
I’m wondering if burden bearing and discernment of spirits are the same or similar. My experiences include taking on others emotions (I wonder if this happens when there is demonic activity). I started off thinking these feelings were my emotions, but then noticed that I would feel these same, out of place for me feelings or attitudes when I was around certain people. These feelings would take over my being and overwhelm me until I prayed through them, sometimes time and space from people would be enough for the emotions to fade. Of interest and confusion for me is that sometimes I would feel rejection and judgment coming from others and at first thought the people were judging and rejecting me. However, I’m starting to think that they themselves are feeling rejected and judged and I am sensing their pain. Perhaps if it is due to demonic activity, both of these are occurring. Anyway, I don’t think at present that I am very useful to the Kingdom of God by taking on these burdens just because I’m near by those being tormented by demons. Most are non-Christians and I cannot simply go up to them and offer deliverance. I welcome comments.
Julie, I think that a distinction is to be made between burden bearing and discernment of spirits. Burden bearing is what happens through prayer after discernment has happened. When I teach on burden bearing I always try to communicate clearly the difference between spiritual sensitivity and the action of burden bearing. It is one thing to sense something, but it is far more important how we respond to it. If I sense rejection and judgment and begin to carry it, I actively burden bear by interceding in prayer for the person I sensed the rejection and judgment from. I would say this is almost always the purpose the Holy Spirit has in mind as we walk in spiritual sensitivity and burden bearing. I pray for people all the time in this way.
The topic of whether there is demonic activity present or not is an interesting question that might require more space than a comments section allows for, but I would like to say a couple of things. First, unless the Holy Spirit shows us there is something demonic involved, we ought not to assume it. The truth is that the human heart is a complicated mess in most of us that needs plenty of prayer and love. Second, even if there is a demonic component to what we sense from someone, that issue we sense is there for a very real reason (trauma, circumstance, lies, life’s punches etc…). We needn’t focus on the demonic at all, but focus on what the Holy Spirit allows us to sense. By praying for people’s hearts to be healed and lightened we contribute to what Jesus is already doing to move that person towards greater freedom of spirit. We know that before an unclean spirit can be dealt with, the ground they hold needs to be dealt with and by responding to a burden with intercession we can participate in that process. We pray from afar most of the time knowing that our prayers are powerful to help others.
So, please don’t feel like you can’t be of use in the Kingdom! We need you practicing your burden bearing gift, interceding for people in your prayers as Holy Spirit allows you to sense things. Particularly, non-Christians who may have no one in their lives who would even think to call on Jesus on their behalf. Let Jesus worry about any demonic side of things. He can handle that easily when the right time comes. Being a burden bearer can sometimes feel like being a secret prayer agent in the Kingdom. We sense, we see, we feel, we hear…we intercede with prayers like spies and when our prayers move things in the spirit realm and help the hearts of those who are hurting, the Enemy doesn’t have a clue what happened. It’s kind of fun that way.
I hope some of that helps.
If you are interested, I have written a booklet on burden bearing called A Handbook for Burden Bearers. It is available on Amazon. It’s short and is an easy read.
cheers,
ehj
Hello Eric, even tho you wrote this article years ago I am hoping you see my comment. I’ve known for years I am a burden bearer but don’t see much info on it as a spiritual gift, so this article helps tremendously and gives me more direction on finding out more info. Ive also starting reading your book, and I am so grateful for it!! I struggle with being in negative/manipulative environments, I’ve had to leave churches and jobs because the vicious cycle gets too much for me to handle. I am currently not working because I feel I can’t handle people now. Without going into details, I have some questions: 1) how do I handle working with people 40 hours a week and not feel incredibly drained? 2)as much as I have done healing of my own pains and triggers and self-improvement and “try not to take things personally,” I still greatly struggle with identifying my feelings from other people’s feelings. Quite often I feel overwhelmed suddenly with emotions (particularly negative emotions) and my mind goes blank and don’t know how to respond to it in that moment, but later when I remove myself from the situation then my mind clears. In other words, often it feels like I can’t “think fast on my feet.” I hope that made sense. 3) Do you do an online class on this?? That would be awesome and so helpful! 4)I have the gifts of exhortation, wisdom, and discernment. Do I have those gifts because I am a burden bearer, or am I a burden bearer because of those gifts?? thank you so much Eric, and I apologize for the mouthful on this one.
@ Anne,
I’m so glad you have found this article and my little book helpful. It always brings me joy when I hear that someone, somewhere is being helped and encouraged through what I’ve shared. I will send this response to you in an email but I thought I would post my comments here in case they are helpful to anyone else who may read them in the future.
Your questions are typical of what I hear from burden bearers and spiritually sensitive people. Our unique identities of course make the answers dynamic and varied. I will try and give you some helpful ideas while recognizing that often we have to find what works for us the best.
Question 1: The inevitable drained feeling from being around people too much, whether it is from being at work, at a party, out shopping etc… is indeed a challenging issue. I wish I had an easy solution for this but the reality is that self-care is what’s important. Spiritually sensitive burden bearers need to make a decision to do those things that allow their hearts and mind to rest. It can’t be optional or secondary. It truly is a priority and important for your health spiritually and mentally. This can be as simple as devoting an hour each day to being alone and reading, or worshipping, or going for a walk…something in which you know you find refuge. Knowing that you’ve planned for that restful time can help in the moments you begin to feel drained…it’s like a little light of hope in your future that says, “Oh, this is hard right now, but later I will be able to rest and breathe.” I encourage people to take time to pray and lift the burdens you picked up, and wash off the emotions you’re carrying around that you sensed in others. All that swirling, extra emotion needs to be given to Jesus so that we can come to peace with him once more. This is a practice that should weave throughout our days to be honest. Which brings us to question 2:
I identify with what you describe here. It so often is later on when we have some distance from the context where we are being overwhelmed that we begin to be able to sort out what’s ours and what we have picked up and carried. I have two suggestions: First, before you head out into a situation where you know you will be around many people for an extended amount of time, invite Holy Spirit to cover you for that time. I picture him placing an invisible coat or cloak over me that includes his Presence and my heart. You are asking him to protect you from sensing too much and that what you do pick up won’t overwhelm you. It’s like preemptive burden bearing. I think this the Lord’s heart for us. Yes, we are spiritually sensitive but he wants us to walk in the gift with strength and ability, not be pushed around by it. Inviting Jesus into our daily activity with this focus in mind should help. Secondly, that feeling of being ‘overwhelmed’ is the alarm bell going off in your spirit warning you that you need to take a moment to step back from the atmosphere you are in. Learning to recognize that moment is important. That’s when you can say to yourself, “Okay, I’m picking up too much all at once right now. I need to take a deep breathe in my spirit (and physically).” If you can, step out for a moment. Go to the bathroom, catch a breath of fresh air, get up and stretch your legs. It’s time to take a moment for yourself…and that is totally okay. It’s a great moment to say a quick prayer too…nothing fancy though cause that can be overwhelming too. “Dear Jesus, have mercy on me.” works great. Or: “Abba, take my hand in yours.” Something short and focused on God is what will help you in those moments. Later on when you are in a more calm space you can pray about burdens, and wash off your spirit.
Question 3: I don’t do an online course…I’ve never even thought of it. Maybe I should consider that.
Question 4: What an interesting question. I think the short answer is that we all have differing gifts as Holy Spirit decides to give them to us. Often, spiritually sensitive people do operate in what are often called revelatory gifts but it isn’t always the case. So, I think your gift mix is unique to you even if similar to other people. I think being a burden bearer is an asset to the gifts you describe but not necessary to them…if that makes sense. And conversely, the gifts you mention can help in your intercessory role as a burden bearer, but they are not necessary for being an intercessor.
Hope some of that is helpful and that it isn’t too long of a response.
Cheers,
Eric H Janzen